Merlin's Secret Lover
by NoexcusesNoapologiesNoregrets
Summary: AU. 19 year-old English college student Arthur, a.k.a. P. Arthur Pendragon, just found out that his nightmares are not only very real but are actually memories of a previous life. Not just any life either, the life of legendary King Arthur Pendragon, heir to the thrown of Camelot who united the lands of Albion. A tale of choices, lust, power, love and sacrifice.
1. Smoke is thy enemy

**Merlin's secret lover**

I do not own Merlin, but I wish I did ;) x

Authors note-Some things are very different, including appearences of characters. But this is fanfiction, so hopefully you won't mind too much. Please just give it a go and see if it's for you, that's all I ask.

This is the full length summary for you-

In this modern take on Arthurian mythology, 19 year-old English college student Arthur, a.k.a. P. Arthur Pendragon, just found out that his nightmares are not only very real but are actually memories of a previous life. Not just any life either, the life of legendary King Arthur Pendragon, heir to the thrown of Camelot who united the lands of Albian. Gorgeous all powerful Sorcerer Emrys, a.k.a. Merlin, shows up just in time to save Arthur from one of his nightmares.

When someone Arthur loves is stolen by one of the same creatures, he puts his trust into the only person who seems to know what is going on. But Arthur doesn't believe for a second when Emrys tries to tell him he's the reincarnation of King Arthur.

Arthur is taken to a world he didn't know existed along with an ex boyfriend who is still in love with him and the girl legend dictates he should love but who he see's as a sister.

He is then sent on a perilous journey to complete seemingly impossible tasks with the help of a few new friends, some old ones, and a sorcerer who appears to have an endless amount of secrets.

Not to mention the wild and dangerous Assassin who breaks all the rules and always has motives of his own. The only thing Arthur knows for sure about the Assassin is that he's sexy as hell and has a smirk that makes Arthur shiver in pleasure.

All Arthur wants is to keep his family safe, but as he unearths secrets that shock him to his very core, Arthur has to reassess what he truly wants out of life. When hidden truths are revealed Arthur must make choices that could destroy everything he loves and cares about including some things he didn't even know existed.

Will Arthur take his place as King of Camelot? Who was he in love with in his previous life? And how different is he from the legend he once was?

A tale of choices, lust, power, love and sacrifice.

A legendary tale of Light and Dark, good and evil.

Who will prevail, and which side will Arthur choose this time around?

Chapter one-

**Smoke is thy enemy**

"Have you seen the new bloke yet?" asks Gwen. I shake my head distractedly as I search through my English literature notes. Our exams aren't far off and I still can't find the right bloody notes anywhere.

"He's gorgeous Pen" continues Gwen as if I'd actually answered her question. Gwen thinks a lot of people are gorgeous, so this isn't exactly news. I still don't look up from my notes. I do look up however when Gwen grabs my arm in a grip so tight I think she's cut off my blood circulation.

Gwen's big baby blue eyes are almost comically wide. She isn't looking at me though, her gaze is actually aimed at the Bath college car park across the road. I try to pry Gwen's hands off me, but then she starts to make a high pitched squealing sound. I _**really**_ don't like it when she does that.

"Look, look! It's HIM!" Gwen practically shouts. I flinch away from her over excited voice.

"Who?" I ask, genuinely bewildered.

"Damn it P. Arthur Pendragon, do you ever listen to me?" she says still looking out over at the car park. I haven't turned to see what she's staring at yet, and part of me doesn't want to.

"I do listen Gwen. But you talk a lot, I have to filter, that takes time." I answer and Gwen hits me hard upside the head.

She's glaring at me but I'm grinning and eventually she relents and grins too. Just when I think she's let it go, Gwen looks back over my shoulder again.

"Seriously, Pen, have a look. I can't believe you haven't seen him. Actually, I can believe that, because you are always stuck in your own world-"

"Gwen? Seriously? I probably have seen 'him' before. But there are loads of students here, what's so different about this one?" I ask, even Gwen isn't usually this dramatic over a bloke she doesn't know.

Gwen rolls her eyes and meets my gaze, "Aim those beautiful cobalt blue eyes of yours behind you and you'll know why".

I arch an eyebrow sceptically, but turn around anyway if only so she'll drop it. Gwen's like a dog with a stick, she won't let go easily without a fight. Fighting with Gwen ends badly for me even when I win.

As soon as I turn around my gaze meets a pair of the strangest eyes I've ever seen. Even from across the road they are ridiculously vivid. His eyes are pure gold, not yellow, GOLD. Not only that but I can see flecks of silver within the iris. The gold is swirling around like it is actually moving.

They're captivating, I've never seen anything like them. Those eyes draw me in and refuse to let go. I feel like he's looking right down into me with those eyes. It's both wonderful and horribly exposing at the same time.

I swear he's looking directly at me, his expression a mixture of confusion and something akin to intense desire.

_**"Arthur, my Prince."**_

I jump at the voice inside my head. Oh hell, I've finally lost it. People have been calling me mentally unstable all my life and now I have proven them all right. Excellent.

I must just be imagining things. But then the voice comes again, it's silky smooth and makes my skin buzz. I feel like a lighting rod in the middle of a storm.

_**"They are coming my Prince. I ne- we need you"**_

My breathing becomes uneven and heavy. The honestly god-like gorgeous stranger still has not looked away from me and I know that it's him talking inside my head. My body's reaction to his gaze and his voice is overwhelming.

Gwen smacks me over the head again and that snaps me out of it fast. My head is foggy as I look round at Gwen, she's smirking.

"Jesus Pen, you were _staring _at him. I told you he's sexy" she says, still smirking.

I take in a gulp of air and all I can say is, "Actually you said he was gorgeous."

Gwen makes a snorting noise, "Oh, so sorry Pen. He's sexy AND gorgeous then, happy?"

I run a hand through my messy golden blond hair. Hair that is permanently messy no matter what I do to try and calm it down. Gwen says I have the 'art boy look', but just because I like to draw and paint doesn't mean it has anything to do with my bloody hair.

I ignore Gwen's question and look back around, I'm afraid he'll still be there staring at me, but I'm also equally afraid he won't be there. So I am both relieved and disappointed when I see that he's gone. I look around for him, but it's almost as if he's vanished. I don't like that thought.

Now he's gone I can reflect on what I saw. Gwen was right, the stranger is unbelievably handsome. He was only about fifteen feet away so I could see him quite well. The stranger has dark chocolate brown hair that is cut choppily and styled almost lazily. But somehow the look suits him, and gives him an undeniable edge. Definitely the bad boy type if ever I saw one. He doesn't look nineteen like me. I'd say he's at least in his early to mid twenties.

He's very tall and was wearing a black biker jacket and boots, dark jeans and a white plain t-shirt. Even though all he'd been doing was standing, he looked intimidating and completely sexy. His face is ruggedly handsome; he has a strong jaw and high cheek bones.

I didn't even know people that good looking actually existed outside of my fantasies. Apparently they do, and they also apparently like to stare and have weird mind powers. Not so enthused by the second bit.

I'm lost in my own thoughts for a while and Gwen seems to sense I need to be left alone. But soon a hand touches my shoulder and I jerk back into reality.

I look up to see Lance, a smile on his classically handsome face, towering over me. Lance's hazel eyes are practically dancing with amusement. I stand up so he has to move back a bit. Lance is quite tall, not as tall the mysterious stranger though…no, I refuse to obsess, my imagination is just running wild again. Gwen and my teachers say that's what makes me a good artist, but it's a pain in the arse at times.

"Shit, what's got our Pen so serious faced?" asks Lance, his question aimed at Gwen, who is now also standing.

There is an awkward silence and I look down for a moment. Lance has a few inches on me so I have to look up to meet his gaze. The thing is, Lance and I were together all last year, we're still close mates, but it's always going to be a bit weird between us when it comes to fancying other people.

Not that I fancy Mr. Badass mysterious stranger, I don't even know him. But that isn't the point.

Gwen comes to my rescue as usual and makes up for my complete lack of social skills by saying,

"Pen's just getting lost inside his own head again, I've hit him twice already"

Lance laughs at that, we both know what Gwen is like and how she hits surprisingly hard for such a dainty bodied person.

All three of us grew up together because Gwen's mum is my God mother, so when my parents died she took me in and became my official legal guardian. She's always treated me like I'm her own son. My parents died when I was just a baby, so I've never known any different.

Lance's dad is head of security at The Albian mansion. The place is massive, it has big iron gates and a long gravel drive. Lance and his dad live in a cottage style house on the same property. But Lance stays over at the mansion a lot.

Me and Lance broke up for a lot of reasons, but the main one was that he thinks I'm constantly waiting for something I want. According to him he isn't that something. At the time I didn't understand, but in the last few months I've been thinking I get what he was trying to say.

I force a smile,

"You two ready to go then, we've got to pick up Elyan at his after school club thing today, right?"

Gwen nods and her smile is so wide and genuine that I can't help but give her a real smile in return. Lance gets his keys out and we head over to the alley where he parks his car.

Lance refuses to trust the local car park, he worked hard to get his car; I helped him fix it up. He treats that car like it's his baby, which is a source of constant amusement for me and Gwen.

"We know you llluuuuurrrrvvvvve your carsy Lance, but it takes you ages to park it here. I say, live on the edge, park in the car park. It's this magical place just for cars to park in, as the name suggests" I say with a smirk, knowing exactly what reaction I'll get.

"NO, I shall never conform to your ways of society. Leave my car alone, she's a loner. You should understand that, being one yourself" he says, but his tone is mostly playful.

"Oh stop it, both of you." Interjects Gwen "We all know Lance is in love with his car-"

"She's not 'just' my car, she's my loyal and valiant steed in car form"

"Oh hells bells, here we go" I say with a dramatic smack to the forehead.

Gwen laughs and so do I as Lance flounces off fast in a pretend huff.

As we get into the car the conversation is easy and normal. Well, normal for us anyway. Mostly teasing each other about everything we can think of. We all drive each other mental, but I love both of them, they're my family as well as my best mates.

When we arrive at Elyan's private, and very expensive, primary school Gwen gets out of the car. She says she'll be back in five minutes and that we have to behave whilst she's gone. Her actual words were "_Be back in five, if you're both dead by then be warned, because I'm telling mum Elyan did it._"

I'm sitting up front in the passenger seat next to Lance. We manage about ten seconds of not uncomfortable silence before Lance says,

"So, what were you really thinking about before?"

I shrug, really not wanting to go talk about it, mostly because I'm not even sure what to make of what I was thinking. Of what I still am thinking about.

"Come on Pen, you can tell me, your face was so serious, it must have been something important" Lance says, he's turned in his seat to try and meet my eyes.

Lance used to say that my eyes are the one place where I can't lie. I don't like to meet people's eyes really, it makes me feel strange, like I can see things I shouldn't be able to. Things I don't _want _to see.

I shake my head and run a hand through my hair nervously. I try to find the right words, but they won't come so I decide to just go for it.

"I saw a man today, Gwen pointed him out. He…..made me think of something that's been bothering me all my life. I can't get him out of my head."

All of which is true. But what he makes me think of most are the dreams I've had ever since I can remember. But lately they've been becoming more detailed, longer, and I'm having them a lot more frequently.

The stranger reminds me so much of the man in my dreams. In some ways they look exactly alike, but in others completely different.

The man from my dreams has strange and enchanting eyes too, but his aren't gold, they're silver with flecks of gold inside the iris. Both of their gazes are intense. Although the eyes of the man in my dreams are darker, more dangerous. The man in my dreams hair is also darker; it's a natural ebony colour and is much wilder.

But they have the same face, the same striking and gorgeous face. A face I cannot let go of no matter how hard I try.

I turn to look at Lance, unsure of how he will react.

"Right. Do you mean spooky can't get him out of your head, or OMG he's so HAWT I can't stand it?" says Lance with a smirk, although his eyes betray emotions that are far more serious than his words.

I know Lance very well, so I pick my words carefully. There was a time when I would have said whatever I felt like to him. Usually I'm not very good at being open about things, I find it hard to trust, but I can't say exactly why.

"Who said anything about anyone being hot?" I ask, internally cringing when Lance's face falls in disappointment. I know he wanted me to be honest and serious with him, but I couldn't bring myself to be, not right now.

Lance shakes it off, one thing he's very good at, and says,

"First of all, I believe the term I used was _HAWT_, get it right dipshit. Secondly, Gwen only points out men who she thinks are insert descriptive word of an attractive man here."

I laugh at that and relax a little,

"Yes, he was…he was….stunning", I frown at my own word choice, even thought it is true.

Lance is smirking now even wider, but again there is still the underlying layer of hurt that I cannot do anything about. Lance puts on a very serious expression and I worry for a moment that he's going to pin me to the spot with one of his outright questions. I hate those. He loves them because it throws me off. Lance says most of the time he can't tell what I'm thinking, so he loves to send me into a panic. Eventually he says, deadpan,

"So, I have just one question….is he…is he HAWTer than me?"

"I would _never_ describe anyone other than you as HAWT Lancelot du Lac" I reply trying to stifle a full on belly laugh. Only Lance could say something like that so straight faced.

Lance starts to laugh too and then we're both laughing so hard tears are practically streaming down or faces.

Once we calm down a bit we're breathing heavily and our faces are close together, our foreheads touching. My eyes are closed and I can't remember laughing so much in ages.

When I open them I realise Lance is no longer laughing and his expression is quite serious. For a moment I wonder if he's going to say something else to set me off again laughing like an idiot.

What I don't expect is for him to lean forward and press his lips against mine. Lips I know very well. I'm so confused that I kiss back on instinct for a few moments before jerking backwards in shock.

Lance's hand has moved to my neck and his thumb smoothes over my cheek. His eyes are full of longing, it almost breaks my heart all over again, the same way it did all those months ago when I broke it off. I did it for him more than me, but that didn't make me feel any less shitty.

Lance pulls me forward and I do not resist. He rests his forehead against mine again and takes a deep breath. I can hear the longing in his voice as he whispers,

"I miss you, love. Sometimes I miss you so much it hurts to even look at you. Because I know I'll never be the one you desire with all your beautiful heart"

For a few seconds we just stay like that, not moving or saying anything. In those few seconds I take in all his sorrow and pain, I take in every negative emotion, and then I bear the guilt it brings.

I'm on the brink of despair when I hear the voice inside my head once more,

_**"My Prince, the time is nearing. I feel your heart beat. The young Knight is correct. You do indeed have a beautiful heart, both pure and brave. I will soon come for you my Prince"**_

My mind spins and I feel so light headed that I swear the world is twisting and changing shape all around me.

Lance is frowning, his expression one of concern. It is then that I see Gwen, and I have never been so glad to see her. She is holding Elyan's hand and pulling him forward. The little eight year old has the same big sky blue eyes and white blond hair as his sister. He is a very pretty little boy, like a Fae child.

Lance has moved away from me now, smiling at Gwen instead. Gwen isn't stupid though. She raises her eyebrows at me after taking one look at his face. Gwen's expression saying with complete certainty that we will be discussing this later. Oh goodie. Gwen thinks I'm mad for not being with Lance, she's always had a thing for him. But Gwen's never discouraged me from being with Lance. In some ways I would have much rather Lance fell for her instead of me.

Gwen and Elyan climb into the back. Elyan is his usual energetic self, another thing that makes him seem so much like his older sister. I turn in my seat to look at him as Lance starts the car and begins the short drive home,

"Alright, fluffy, what did you get up to in school today?" I've called Elyan fluffy since he was born because when he was a baby he had a tuft of silky white blond hair, he reminded me of a baby chicken back then.

Elyan cringes slightly mid bounce and Gwen aims a disapproving look his way. I raise an eyebrow at both of them and eventually Elyan says,

"I was naughty."

"Yes you were" snaps Gwen. But I can tell she's hiding a smile, so whatever her mischievous little brother has done must be funny as hell. It usually is.

Lance laughs from the drivers seat and asks,

"What did chicken little do this time?" I know without looking that Lance is grinning.

"Go on, tell them what you did" says Gwen.

Elyan looks warily at his sister but is obviously very proud of what he has done and seems desperate to tell his story, especially to me. As his only father figure Elyan looks up to me quite a bit. Their dad died not long after he was born.

I smile and nod, silently encouraging Elyan to speak, Elyan smiles back and begins excitedly,

"I was bored, and I'd finished my work, so I said I was done. But my stupid teacher just gave me more work and I said I was finished for the day, but she said I had to do more because the day wasn't over yet. I screwed up the work sheet and threw it away. Then she said I had to go outside for being silly, but I went to the book corner instead and started throwing pillows and bean bags because she was shouting at me."

Elyan takes a deep breath, I can already feel Lance chuckling beside me and I'm having a hard time suppressing a laugh too. Elyan continues,

"They took all the other children out of the classroom because they were afraid I would hurt them by throwing pillows", the small boy's sarcasm is obvious and quite indignant for a eight year old, "But then when they were all outside the classroom I stood up on one of the tables and took the room key off the projector. I used the key to lock the door so the teachers couldn't get back in."

Elyan finishes his story with a self satisfied nod. All three of us only hold out for about three seconds before erupting into laughter. Elyan's 'it just had to be done' expression is the funniest part of it all.

When the laughter dies down I catch Gwen's eye and she shrugs helplessly, but there is an under layer of dread that I understand immediately. We may find it funny, but Gwen's mother, Vivian, certainly will not. I love Vivian very much and I respect her greatly, but she is strict about how her children, including me, should behave. She raised us all to be polite and courteous in any given situation.

Elyan will certainly get a severe scolding for this. Then again Elyan spends more time getting scolded and told off than anyone else I know. I love him to bits, but he is a tricky little sod.

"Score one for chicken little" comments Lance. Gwen rolls her eyes and leans back in her seat.

I bite my lip before adding,

"Nice one mate", I lift my hand up and Elyan high fives it hard enough to make my palm sting.

For about ten minutes everything is easy again, no one talks about anything important. Not that we would with Elyan in the car. Clever as he is, we don't want him to learn too much too fast.

It's then that mid-laugh I feel something ice cold slip down my spine causing my whole body to shudder. The coldness spreads through my whole body making it almost impossible to concentrate on anything else. Suddenly I wish for that strong confident voice inside my head.

The coldness doesn't go away and I start to shift in my seat warily. Something is coming, I have no idea what, but I can feel it right down to my bones.

When I look out the window I see a flash of black and red before the car is hit hard enough to leave a dent in the door. Lance jerks the wheel and Gwen grabs hold of Elyan instinctively.

"What the fuck?" Lance shouts. I'm about to answer when another hit comes and this time the car is forced to balance on two wheels for a few seconds. Gwen makes a yelping sound and Lance growls, his fingers whitening as he grips the steering wheel.

I look out the window again, trying to see what's bashing us, but all I see is a thick black fog moving to cover the car. When the fog reaches the windows I start to really panic. Somehow I know this is because of me and that whatever is outside means us all a great deal of harm.

"What's going on? What is that black stuff?" Gwen asks frantically from the back. I turn in my seat to check on them, Elyan is frowning harshly at the blackness covering the windows as if confused by it's presence instead of it's actual existence.

I run a hand through my hair and meet Gwen's eye for a moment. Hers are full of fear and my hands clench angrily. I'm no longer frightened as the need to protect my family takes over.

Ice starts forming slowly on the windows, causing them to crack. I can feel the blackness seeping in from outside. I clench my jaw as Lance drives on seemingly unable to do much else. I touch his knee gently and he looks at me, I see fear in his eyes as well. But I also see determination, and I know he wants to protect Gwen and Elyan as well.

"Stop the car Lance" I say calmly despite the situation. Lance's eyes widen, his expression telling me I'm insane. I simply stare back at him, waiting,

"Stop the car Lance, NOW!" I leave no room for argument this time and as if by an otherworldly force Lance stops the car. He does it so suddenly that I almost go shooting through the windscreen.

The blackness is still seeping into the car, but now we've stopped I know what has to be done. Gwen is still holding tightly onto Elyan and Lance seems to be waiting for my next instruction.

Elyan meets my gaze then and I nod, he nods back as if approving of a plan I have not yet voiced.

"Stay in the car" I say firmly and give both Gwen and Lance a hard look.

I put my hand on the door handle and the blackness pauses for only a moment as if unsure of how to proceed. I have no idea if what I'm about to do is right or just stupid. Probably stupid. But the coldness spreading throughout my body tells me that the blackness is here for me, so I have to get it away from my family.

I push open the door with surprising ease and practically throw my body out of the car. The blackness looks so thick that I assumed it would feel solid, but I move through the blackness as if moving through smoke. The feeling it causes however is nothing like smoke. The coldness gets so intense that I can barely breathe and the feeling of dread is overwhelming. In the back of my mind there is a spark of recognition, but I push it back for now.

I manage to kick the door closed behind me and drag my body as far away from the car as I can. Just as I'd hoped the blackness slowly starts to move away from the car and towards me. I don't know if it's lucky we're on an old country road that is barely used or not as no one will be along to help any time soon.

I can hear muffled shouting from the car which I can only assume is Gwen and Lance arguing over what to do. Lance is so very loyal, he'll be torn between coming after me and obeying me.

I manage to stand up shakily, but the blackness is getting stronger as it tries to snake itself around my body. I have no idea what will happen when it completely covers me and I have no intention of finding out either.

All I can think to do is get as far away from the people I love as possible so they'll be at least somewhat safe.

The side of the road I'm on leads into a forest and I decide that's my best bet as running on an open road will just give the blackness a clear target. If I can't hide from it then at least I can put obstacles in it's way.

Within seconds I'm running through the forest, darting through trees and trying like fuck not to trip on a twig. If anyone is likely to fall over something in situation like this, then that person is me.

I run fast and hard, making sure I weave a bit to hopefully throw 'it' off. I can still feel the coldness snapping at my heels like it's trying to curl around my ankles. The blackness speeds up then and so do I.

I hope like hell that as soon as I ran into the forest Lance drove away with Gwen and Elyan. He wouldn't want to leave me but Lance isn't stupid enough to come after me either.

The forest gets thicker and my body smashes against trees and branches as I run. I don't stop to think about how bruised

I'm going to be if I survive this. I don't look back either. People who look back usually die, and although this may not be a story inside a book I'm not willing to chance it.

The feelings inside caused by the blackness are surprising as I don't feel fear, at least not for myself. It's anger that coils in my gut, maybe even rage. A hot boiling rage that threatens to take over in an almost painful manner.

I know that the rage I feel is not my own. But if it's not mine, then who's. Whoever is controlling the blackness maybe, as I sense it is not acting of it's own accord, at least not completely. The way it paused earlier, made me think it was waiting for orders.

I start to wonder how far I'll get before the blackness wears me down, because I know I'll tire before it does. I chance a quick look behind me and all I see is a flash of red. Red eyes, bright as ruby stones.

Shit!

My legs ache and my breathing is becoming even more difficult than before. Luckily one of my favourite things to do is run. Running clears my head. I've always been on the slim side, but in the last few years I've developed some muscle definition in my arms and stomach. I'm no way near as muscled as the stranger, both inside my dreams and out, or even Lance. But I'm not the skinny teen I used to be.

None of that will help me fight this creature though. How can you fight a creature seemingly made of smoke? Even worse I suddenly remember where the feeling of dread comes from. These creatures are from my nightmares, I've had them all my life and they often come after the dreams about castles and magic and gorgeous men with captivating eyes. Also just like my dreams, my nightmares have become more frequent in the last few months.

All I can do is run. So that's what I do, I run fast and I run hard. I don't allow myself to stop or even contemplate the idea of stopping.

But as I knew it would, my luck runs out as I feel a tendril of the coldness wrap around my ankle. The blackness turns from cold smoke to iron in an instant. I lose my balance and fall to the ground hard. As I go down I tuck myself into a ball and roll to lessen the impact.

My shoulder hits the ground with a bruising thud, but the rest of my body is unharmed for now. I twist on the ground so I can look up at the creature that still grips my ankle tightly. Coldness threatens to spread again and I flinch just from the memory of it.

I try to brace myself as the wall of black and red rises up ready to descend upon my body. It is then that the voice finally returns,

_**"My Prince, I have come for you."**_

Only moments later a flash of pure white hits the wall of blackness in it's centre. Until now the creature was silent, but when the bolt of white hits the blackness, I hear it screaming inside my head. The scream is so painful inside my own mind that my nose begins to bleed.

Before my eyes the creature seems to implode in on itself, almost as if the white ball is pulling in the darkness. Soon all that is left is what I now think is less a ball of whiteness and more a ball of pure light.

The ball of light then becomes smaller and smaller until it is also gone. I know he's behind me and my breathing becomes more steady because of his presence, he calms me in a way I do not understand yet.

After a moment reality kicks in full force and I stand up. It takes me a moment to gather enough sense to turn around but when I finally do I come face to face with _him._

_**Please review and let me know what you think, i'd love some feedback xxx**_


	2. Secrets of the veil

**CHAPTER TWO**

**Secrets of the veil**

**I do not own Merlin. Not even a teensy eensy bit. x**

He stands only about five feet away from me. His eyes pierce into mine with an intensity I never imagined I could feel. I'm having a bloody issue with breathing today because once again the breath is knocked out of me.

The man standing in front of me is even more unbelievably gorgeous up close; he also looks even more like the man from my dreams. Although there are a few subtle differences that I now notice. His expression is sober and calculating, almost as if he's sizing me up, trying to decide something.

"Prince Arthur Pendragon, my name is Emrys. It has begun, Camelot needs you." The man says simply, his voice as silky smooth outside my head as it was inside. I shiver at both his voice and his words. I feel dazed for only a few moments before replying,

"It's Arthur. My name is Arthur" as if THAT'S the most important thing right now.

See, technically Arthur is my second name, my first name begins with a 'P', but I have no idea what the 'P' actually stands for. I'm pretty sure it's not 'Prince' though, that would be ridiculous.

For a moment the man, Emrys, appears amused, a smile touches his lips. But in an instant it's gone and replaced with the same stoic expression as before.

"You were just chased by a creature that could have killed you and you're worried about what I call you." He tilts his head as if studying me, "You really are very much like him". For a moment I see a flash of pain in his eyes but it is gone so quickly that I'm not sure if it was ever actually there.

I'm about to say something more appropriate to the situation, hopefully, when a thought comes to me. All my curiosity towards Emrys is secondary to the need to know if my family is safe.

Without saying anything I take off running back towards the road. I don't even know if I'm going in the right direction. I let instinct take over.

Just because I can't hear Emrys following doesn't mean he isn't. I want him to come after me as he seems to know what the hell is going on.

Eventually I get back to the road, I ran a lot further than I thought I had. I come out of the forest only a little way from where I went in. The car is still there but Gwen, Lance and Elyan aren't inside it.

I see Lance and Gwen but not Elyan, they both catch sight of me too. I run over and Lance meets me mid way. Lance pulls me into his arms and squeezes me tight enough to make all my bruises scream. Gwen isn't far behind and Lance lets go enough to include her in the fierce hug.

I pull back, glad that they're safe but also confused,

"Where's Elyan?"

"It did something to him Pen, we don't know what. But there was a flash and his body convulsed, his eyes flashed too and then he just stopped moving" cries Gwen, her expression full of anguish. My heart thuds loudly at the implication.

"Is he…?" I ask slowly fearing answer more than anything else.

Lance shakes his head, his hazel eyes still showing fear,

"No, I checked his pulse, he won't wake up though"

I run both my hands through my hair in frustration,

"But, I led the creature away"

Gwen wraps her arms around herself and I pull her into a fierce hug, she grabs hold of me like I'm her lifeline.

"It did, but then a smaller…..thing came after us" says Lance

"It got into the car?" I question.

Gwen looks uncomfortable then, her whole body tensing. I realise with sudden horror that they did get out of the car, probably to come after me.

Gwen looks up at me and says,

"Lance told me not to but I didn't listen. I said I would go after you and that Lance had to drive and get help with Elyan. But then Elyan got out of the car after me before either of us could do anything. We didn't even see it coming. It covered him completely within seconds and left just as quickly."

Lance shakes his head, his jaw clenched. Lance will feel guilt over this, even if it was not at all his fault.

"Where is he?" I ask. Gwen nods towards the car and replies,

"He's in the back, we led him down. We were about to take him to the hospital when you came back."

"A human hospital will not cure what ails the young knight" a voice made of velvet says from the edge of the forest.

I turn around to face him, Lance and Gwen look up in surprise. Emrys walks slowly towards us, his expression and body emanating power and strength. I didn't notice quite as much before, but now I definitely do. So do Gwen and Lance if the way they tense immediately is anything to go by.

I can't tear my eyes away from Emrys as he stops a few feet away from us.

"Who…..who are you?" Lance demands, but his voice wavers uncertainly. Lance obviously feels that this man is not to be messed with, which I am grateful for as we don't have time for anything else.

Emrys does not take his eyes off me as he says,

"I am Emrys. Those creatures were of dark magic."

"What did it do to my brother?" asks Gwen. I have no idea why Lance and Gwen aren't losing it or trusting this man enough to ask him questions. I know why _I'm _not going mental, because my sanity has always been practically non-existent. I can only imagine it's the shock that is subduing them. Or maybe he is just that intimidating.

"I will not explain fully as you would not understand if I tried. But I suppose you could say that the creature has taken the young knight's life essence, or 'soul' if you prefer" answers Emrys, his expression completely passive as if they were discussing what to have for tea.

Gwen's hands slap over her mouth in disbelief. Finally.

"That sounds ridiculous" states Lance, his expression turning angry in an instant.

"As ridiculous as two creatures of dark magic attacking you? I will not argue over what you do or do not believe. Take me to Vivian" Emrys says, his tone firm.

Gwen frowns indignantly, but I speak before she can,

"Alright. But I want you to answer some questions afterwards. No bullshit, real answers".

I look him in the eye unflinching. I don't know what's happening but I'm bloody well going to find out before this day is over.

Emrys' gaze remains devoid of any emotion until his eyes flicker with something I cannot name,

"Agreed" he answers simply.

Lance drives faster than he's ever dared to before all the way to Albian mansion. Gwen sits next to him up front holding a very still Elyan. My heart clenches, he looks so weak and small. He is only a little boy, but Elyan has such a big personality that without it he seems horribly tiny.

Even with Lance driving dangerously, the trip still feels like it's taking far too long. We all keep firing questions at Emrys, but he answers the same way every time-_"Take me to Vivian"_

I can feel him glancing over at me without even looking. It's like my mind and body are pre-set to feel constantly connected to his. I don't like it; And at the same time, I fear losing that connection with every fibre of my being.

Sitting so close to him in the back of Lance's car is almost stifling. Emrys appears tense to me even though he's hiding it rather well. I can tell he's worried, and that today's events have affected him more than he's showing. How could I possibly know that though? I only met him less than half an hour ago.

Yet another difference between him and the man from my dreams, as the man from my dreams is never tense. Even when in imminent danger inside my dreams he appears perfectly comfortable with the situation. He seems to fear nothing and no one. I even think he revels in the chaos and danger. But, stupid brain, they are just dreams, or often nightmares. So thinking about them and comparing them to real life is a ridiculous waste of time. My mind doesn't give a fuck about my internal logic though and continues to make comparisons.

When we finally arrive outside the big old style mansion Vivian is already waiting outside on the large stone steps. Along with her head of security, Lance's dad, John.

We all get out the car and Vivian barely contains a cry of anguish as her eyes dart to Elyan who is still not moving in Gwen's arms. He looks awfully pale and my heart squeezes painfully, guilt tearing me up inside. But Vivian is a proud woman and manages to keep her emotions from overwhelming her.

Emrys walks up the steps to stand beside Vivian, John stands by the door, stoic and strong as usual. Vivian gestures at John who then enters the mansion. A few seconds later two men in green silk robes emerge from the mansion, John waits in the doorway. The men in robes move to take Elyan away from Gwen, who pulls back clutching him closer. Both I and Lance step toward them both protectively. The men have their hoods up so their faces are hidden. Some instinct I didn't even know I possessed tells me I don't want to see what's under the hoods.

Vivian speaks surprisingly calmly,

"Let them take Elyan my dear. They will keep him safe."

Gwen's gaze slides to her mother warily, but she eventually hands Elyan over to the men in robes, although reluctantly. The two men take Elyan back inside the house and Vivian gestures again for John to follow. I'm glad someone who genuinely cares about Elyan will be with him at least.

I can tell with one glance at Lance that he doesn't like this, any of it, and it's pissing him off more and more by the second. I feel the same way, but showing it won't fix this. I'll do anything to help Elyan.

Starting with getting some bloody answers.

Emrys stands tall and imposing over Vivian as he is so much taller than her and built like a solid brick wall. But instead of confusion or intimidation Vivian merely smiles at Emrys, her eyes full of…is that awe? And definitely respect, which Vivian does not give out easily.

I frown as Vivian says to Emrys, her voice clipped,

"They are becoming stronger and stronger by the second"

Emry nods once and replies darkly,

"The time is drawing near. We must act now if we are to have a chance at stopping this war"

Wooooaaahhh, wait, war? There's a war?

I realise too late that I said all that out loud. Both Emrys and Vivian turn to me. I walk up the steps to join them. Gwen and Lance are quick to follow my lead.

"Not yet. It has yet to begin. But soon they will strike" answers Emrys patiently as if talking to a child. A child who's a little bit thick. Now _that _pisses me off.

"They? Who's they? What does this have to do with smoky one and smoky two?" _What does this have to do with me?_ I think but don't say.

Emrys and Vivian are looking at me intensely and I get the irritating feeling that I'm missing something big. I run a hand through my gold coloured hair in frustration.

Vivian sighs and links her fingers together in a nervous gesture I have noticed over the years.

"There is so much to say Arthur. I-"

Suddenly a big black van crunches along the gravel drive and stops behind Lance's car. At least half a dozen people get out, two are women and the rest are men. All of them are dressed completely in black close fitted battle armour with weapons strapped to their belts and various other parts of the armour.

Christ on a bike, first an evil smoke cloud attack, then magical balls of whateverthefuck, and now _NINJAS_!

Fucking smoke babies everywhere, WHAT is going on with my life? The world has stumbled into one of my nightmares. Brilliant. I recognise the symbol on the chest of their armour. The symbol is a golden dragon, which was the symbol King Arthur and his Knights supposedly used. Vivian has always been obsessed with all things Arthurian, although she often says most of it is a bucket full of bullshit. Always thought it was just a hobby, now I'm thinking that most hobbies do not include having a group of ninjas on your doorstep.

All the crest wearing ninjas stand together in a line, almost respectfully. I turn fully to look at them. They then all go down on one knee and say in perfect unison,

"Your majesty, Prince Arthur."

Now, that's when shit gets too fucked up for even _my _mind, which to be honest has always been a bit on the sketchy side at best anyway.

* * *

><p>"This is ridiculous. You're off your rocker, Arthur isn't the reincarnation of King Arthur" shouts Lance about an hour later.<p>

After the ninja kneeling incident Vivian managed to get us all inside the mansion and into her office. The ninjas move so strangely and silently, as if their bodies are made of water, their movements seem fluid and unnatural. Lance moves a bit like that, but before now I chalked it down to him having a lot more grace than me.

Apparently it's because he's a Knight, which is actually a species. Lance is not taking that piece of life altering news well.

Can't say I'm handling the news that I am, again _apparently, _the reincarnation of King Arthur any better.

"Thanks for that Lance, but if they won't listen when I say it, then I doubt they'll listen when you do" I say warily. A muscle twitches in my jaw as I run a frustrated hand through my hair.

I keep glancing at Emrys who is constantly watching me. His gaze is like fire on my skin, causing me to feel completely aware of his presence.

The ninjas are Knights, beings that are born to serve as protectors of Albian, which is an entirely different world to this one. Both this world and that one are separated by a magical veil that only people with extensive knowledge of magic know how to cross, and you have to know where the portals are, as they are well hidden all over the world

Knights have the ability to be much stronger and faster physically than any human; also fighting is meant to come naturally, hence the weird unnatural balance thing.

Lance has always been very strong and fast, but according to Emrys if he is to ever reach his full potential then he would have to be initiated into the CamelotCovenantAcademy. The CCA for short John had said carefully, obviously trying to abate his angry son.

Sorcerers exist as well, which after everything else almost felt normal. Emrys is a very powerful Sorcerer, another thing I can easily believe. Sorcerers also attend the CCA, but they have different lessons based around magical combat instead of physical. Both attend history lessons though, looks like the other world isn't completely different. They still have some sort of school, even if that school includes magic and sword fighting.

On the outside I'm actually pretty calm. On the inside I'm losing my shit. I shouldn't believe any of this, all logic is telling me it can't be true. But there is something, the same thing that warned me about the smoke creatures, (demons conjured by dark magic), inside me screaming that all this is real.

For most of my life whenever I've been in doubt I have gone with my gut. My instincts have never failed me so I decide that this is another one of those times when I'm just going to have to trust myself and see where it leads.

Emrys sighs heavily, his handsome face almost completely emotionless. I can see that he's apprehensive and every time he looks at me his whole body tenses up. I have the strangest urge to touch him, but for some reason the thought isn't even out of place, like I've done it a thousand times before.

Emrys meets my eyes, the flecks of silver within his golden iris swirl, I wonder if all Sorcerers have eyes that extraordinary. Emrys' lips quirk upwards into an almost smile, I can only imagine how gorgeous he must look when he properly smiles, or laughs. I want to make him laugh.

"We must take you to Camelot my Prince, time is of the essence" says Emrys, his voice holding a note of finality.

"What about Elyan?" I say, Gwen makes a noise of agreement. Both Gwen and Lance are standing on either side of me, playing bodyguard.

"We have been through this before Arthur. My son was stolen by dark magic. He has been taken into the world of Albian, if we are to get him back, you must go there" Vivian states matter of factly. She's putting on a brave front, but I can see the cracks showing her true emotions of distress.

"If it will help Elyan, then I will go, but I'm only doing it for Elyan. I want to be clear about that" I say pointedly looking at Emrys. Whether I believe all this or not, it doesn't matter. What does matter is helping Elyan.

Emrys meets my eyes again, the dark blue of them so plain next to his mixture of gold and silver. I hold his gaze steadily for a few long and almost too intense moments before I see another flash of the emotion I saw before but could not name. Emrys looks away as he says,

"Then we must leave immediately".

Lance makes a sound of displeasure in the back of his throat. Lance hates to not be in control of his own life, so being yanked around like this must be very difficult for him. Gwen is strong, a trait she inherited from Vivian. So when I glance at her and whisper in her ear asking if she is alright with going Gwen straightens her shoulders and smiles up at me in determination. I smile back and wink, her smile becomes more genuine and so does mine.

I turn to Lance and he is still wearing an expression of discomfort so I take his hand and lace my fingers through his. Lance softens noticeably and squeezes my hand. I notice that Emrys' eyes narrow in on our joint hands and for some reason I suddenly feel guilty, he makes no comment though as his eyes flicker up to mine.

Vivian starts shouting orders all around us and Emrys makes a few comments to the ninja Knights.

Lance's dad goes to stand by with Vivian, both Gwen and Lance ignore their respective parents. I understand, this is all as massive to them as it is to me, even though they aren't the ones who are supposed to be a bloody King.

Emrys moves away from the Knights and towards a very large mirror that covers almost the entirety of the wall opposite Vivian's office's grand marble fireplace.

Everything in Albian mansion is grand and old, I loved growing up here as it was such a fun place to play mystery games in, and there were loads of secret places to hide. Sometimes we liked to pretend we were hunting ghosts.

The ninja Knights move silently to stand in a line behind us, their heads bent forward, arms close to their sides. Vivian and John stand by her big dark wood desk, waiting.

Emrys moves to stand in front of the wall sized mirror and places a hand on it. I can't see his face because he is too close to the mirror, but I can hear the words inside my head,

_**"Zarther du lacna"**_

His voice sounds different in my head to how it usually does, it's deeper and feels heavier. I suppose I am feeling the power behind the words.

Gwen jumps beside me as the surface of the mirror begins to ripple outwards. I frown at the astounding sight. The ripples keep getting bigger and bigger and I am reminded of when you place touch the surface of water.

The ripples get faster as well as bigger and my eyes widen. Emrys moves back a few feet. Gwen gasps and Lance's hand tightens on mine but I cannot loo away from the mirror.

Eventually the mirror shimmers violently and them goes black for a long moment. When changes again I no longer see anyone's reflection, I see a very large bridge leading towards a drop gate. The walls on either side of the drop gate are solid pale brick. The walls are high and below the bridge there seems to be some sort of mote although I cannot see the water.

The surface of the mirror appears strangely like the surface of water, as if the gate and bridge themselves are reflections.

"Holy son of a biscuit tin on the shelf of fuck my life", comments Lance. Gwen appears struck into silence for the first time ever, both together are enough to make me bark a small laugh before shaking my head to clear it. When that doesn't work I say roughly,

"I will never be able to look at a mirror again without poking it first just in case", which causes Gwen and Lance to laugh nervously.

My hand itches to go and touch it. I take my hand from Lance and move forward. Gwen makes to grab for me but I pull away from her as well. When I am standing beside Emrys he turns to look at me slightly and I look back.

* * *

><p>Emrys says nothing as I move forward, my hand raised. My hand touches the surface lightly, it feels cold and powerful against warm skin. The feeling reminds me of solid ice glazed over a lake or river. But when I push forward the surface allows my hand to break through and is swallowed up by it instantly. I panic for only a moment before a strong hand touches my back.<p>

The hand soothes me in a way that I have never experienced before and I lean towards the comfort. I close my eyes and let out a deep breath. Then I look round at Emrys, who is standing only inches away from me, his front to my back. He's even taller this close up, at least 6,4, and my chin only reaches is shoulder. Emrys' eyes are bright in contrast to his dark choppily styled hair.

I can no longer feel my hand, but I can't bring myself to panic when Emrys is staring right into my eyes, I'm mesmerised by his silver swirls. I bite my lip, unsure of what to do, no one has ever affected me like this and it's both scary and a fucking turn on at the same time. A flash of heat sparks in Emrys' eyes and I want him to touch me more. But…..

Elyan. Hand. Lance. Ninjas. Gwen. Right. Shit.

My mind snaps back to the present and I ask,

"I think the mirror has eaten my hand", ok, not the most intelligent or normal thing I've ever said. But then again today hasn't exactly _been_ a normal day so far, why start now?

Emrys moves his hand away from my back, almost reluctantly, and his face goes back to being passive. If it wasn't for the heat still churning in my gut I would have thought I'd imagined that look in his eyes.

"I have opened the gateway. All you must do is take a deep breath and trust me to guide you through", Emrys says, his voice low and smooth. I turn to glance back at Gwen and Lance. Gwen is giving me a knowing look, which I ignore, and Lance isn't looking at me at all, he's glaring at the ground like he wants to beat it to death. I feel a twinge of guilt at that, even though I really haven't done anything wrong. _Yet, _a voice inside me whispers and I tell it to shut up.

There are far more important things going on right now than my bloody love life troubles.

"I'll go through first then", I say with more confidence than I actually feel.

Lance looks up at that,

"Don't Pen, it's not safe". Gwen moves forward and Emrys steps even further away so she can stand by me.

Lance grudgingly does the same and stands on my other side. Lance won't meet my eyes, but Gwen will and she says,

"I'm with you Pen. If we're going to save our brother I want us to do it together. I trust you, always have. We both do, right Lance?" Gwen sends a pointed look Lance's way and he groans in irritation. No one can say no to that tone of voice coming from Gwen.

I close my eyes again for a while. I need to think this through. Going into another world and accepting all this madness is one of, if not the, biggest things I will ever have to do.

I'll admit, I'm curious as hell, but I have a life here. A life I like. But, I need to save Elyan, he's my brother in every way except blood. I'd do anything for him, including pass through a mirror portal to a magical world full of smoky things and ninjas and nightmares that aren't actually nightmares because they can really kill me.

I open my eyes and reach out to take Gwen's hand, using the one that isn't lost inside a portal. I bring her hand to my lips and kiss her palm lightly. She smiles up at me reassuringly and I feel stronger because of it.

"I'll go first." I nod at Emrys and he nods back firmly. I then let go of Gwen's hand and turn to tilt my head up slightly so I can look into Lance's face. He finally looks me in the eye then and I try to convey without words that I need him to stand by me too.

He must have seen something because he leans to whisper in my ear,

"I'm always on your side Pen, you know that". Lance's lips grazed over my cheek as he moves away.

Emrys comes forward then and Gwen moves out of the way. Emrys offers me his hand and I don't hesitate to take it. It's the first time we've touched skin to skin and my body burns from that small bit of contact alone, it's almost too much, but I try not to let it show. Emrys turns to Gwen and Lance and says firmly,

"Move back. I will come for you once Arthur is safe." Something strikes me as odd about his words. I can't figure it out…then I do, Emrys said my name. Most people I know have always called me Pen, but I like the sound of my name coming from his lips.

I face forward and Emrys urges me to walk, I still can't feel my hand and for a moment I wonder if I won't be able to feel my entire body once I pass through.

Once when I was about ten me, Gwen and Lance were walking through the forest near Albian mansion. It had been snowing quite heavily the night before so everything was covered in ice and snow. Lance said it was amazing and Gwen said she thought it looked beautiful. I said it looked deadly, and I was right.

We should never have tried to cross over that lake, but the adrenaline junkie in me that craved danger and adventure had taken over my common sense.

I don't remember too much. But the one thing I can never forget is feeling cold, so cold that I didn't even know I was cold anymore. I forgot what cold felt like and I became numb. Falling and feeling nothing but falling. Then eyes. Eyes from my dreams. Eyes that were liquid silver and glowed like moonlight, the gold dancing within them like stars. Eyes that I had always thought of as deadly before that day, reminded me of lightening, sharp metal and ice. I realised in that moment whilst falling that they were also so, so beautiful.

The man from my dreams was floating in front of me, his gaze never leaving mine as he stole me away from the numbness and back to the snow and the ice and the air and life.

I walk with Emrys into the power of the mirror and I don't let go. Allowing my self to trust Emrys based on instinct instead of logic.

The world around me turns grey and blank. The numb sets in and my mind clings on hard to another pair of eyes that are so similar yet completely different.

**_Please review, i'd love to know what you think xxx_**


	3. His Assassins Secrets

_**Chapter Three**_

_**His Assassins secrets**_

_They passed through the veil. That is one thing The Dark Archer knows. He can feel it deep in his bones. The boy Prince and his saviour. Fucking saviour my arse, he thinks absently. More like The Dark Archer's largest source of irritation and amusement rolled into one self righteous package._

_The Dark Archer finds the boy….interesting, which is always dangerous for the thing he's interested in. What The Dark Archer finds interesting usually ends up dead or fucked, sometimes both._

_He moves in the shadows. No, he is a shadow, a black faceless thing that that thrives on chaos and darkness. The Dark Archer is deadly and highly skilled. He does not apologise for being a killer. Remorse is not something he takes part in._

_He waits above on a tower whilst the party is in full swing below. The world of Albian is falling apart, but life still goes on as it always has in the face of destruction. Dark magic is taking over this world and spilling into the next._

_The battle between the Dark and Light has already begun. Stealing a little future Knight seemed rash. He understands impulsive decisions and deciding the laws of what seems right can go fuck themselves. But there is no excuse for rashness. It is sloppy. It is emotional. Emotion gets you killed. Emotion gets you murdered._

_The Dark Archer pushes black hair from his eyes and concentrates on one man. The man sits upon a wooden throne, a lord playing king in his own tiny palace. He sneers, even a thousand years later the rich and entitled are still a mystery to him._

_He readies his bow, hidden within the shadows in a way that he has perfected. No one ever sees him coming, and they never will if he doesn't want them to._

_He takes out a black arrow that is tinged with metal and personally sharpened by The Dark Archer himself. People do not suffer at his hand unless he wants them to. He puts the arrow in place slowly. He pulls back expertly and gets his target in focus. He lets the arrow fly. Clean shot. A moment's silence, then screams. Then blood._

_Task completed._

_Death is his companion, shadows are his army._

_I. Do. Not. Miss. Another thing he knows right down deep in his bones. He was trained for this. He suffered for this. For choice. For pain. For freedom._

_Knights call him a monster. The magical council call him a rogue psychopath. Sorcerers call him dangerous. Fucks call him dominant. His enemies call him The Dark Archer. Merlin calls him brother. Arthur called him Mordred…._

I can feel again. The numbness is gone, warmth and power now in its place. The magic of this world is so strong that it invades every one of my senses. I can't see properly yet though, my head is buzzing.

But I do know that my body is pressed against something hard. I shake my head, hoping that will help my eyes to focus. When the blurriness finally clears enough that I can see more than just shapes, I realise what I'm pressed against.

Emrys is beneath me and I'm lying on top of him. I don't move an inch, I just stare down at the gorgeous and highly muscled man under me. Emrys stares right back, his pupils dilated, the heat in his gaze is unmistakable this time.

His hands are on my back, holding me tightly to him whilst my own hands are flat against his broad chest. I want to get off him and look around, get my bearings. But at the same time the thought of moving makes my heart ache.

One of Emrys' big hands slides up my back, his fingers tracing my spine almost sensually. He uses the other hand to push some of my blond hair back, playing with the golden strands. Again I'm struck by the feeling that we've done this many times before.

Emrys grips the back of my neck and I fight the urge to lean in closer. Turns out that self restraint was for nothing because then Emrys guides my head forward.

Suddenly my whole body is being moved and I'm on my back looking up at Emrys. Our groins are pressed together, and so are our chests. Emrys is holding his body so that he doesn't crush mine. The control behind that makes my breathing uneven. His face moves closer to mine, until eventually our lips brush. A jolt of arousal assaults my body and heat coils in my gut.

Emrys' breath hitches when I whisper,

"_Please"._

Please? Please what? I don't even know anymore.

"_Arthur"_he breathes, he seems to be battling with something inside himself. I guess he's come to a conclusion because the weight of his body is gone in an instant and I'm being pulled to my feet just a quickly.

Emrys moves away from me as if I'm infected with some kind of horrible disease. He still meets my eyes though and somehow that's worse than him not being able to as I can see the lack of emotion in his face. Everything about him right now screams 'back off, I'm not interested'.

It shouldn't hurt, I don't know him well enough for that kind of rejection to hurt. But fuck, it does. In that moment I want to hit him for not caring, I'm not small, but I'd still never be able fight a man of Emrys' size.

I can still feel the power of this world all around me. It's strange, but also somehow comforting.

I clench my fists but say nothing, what is there to say? Nothing, that's why I'm not saying anything. Gwen says it's not healthy how I can be silent for long moments, hours, even days and not care. I disagree, I talk enough. But I don't see the point in saying things just for the sake of saying something. I don't need to fill the silence, sometimes silence is good.

"Should I wait here whilst you go get the others?" I ask, because standing here staring at each other is stupid.

Emrys narrows his eyes for a moment, as if he expected me to say something else. But fuck him if he thinks I'm going to throw some sort of fit over his inability to sort out his own shit. I'm not his therapist and he's not my problem.

"I cannot go back. The veil has shifted. I will have to find another opening later" he replies after a few uncomfortable moments.

"What?" I barely hold back the snap in my tone, "Bullshit Emrys. Let's go find a way to get to them now_"_

Emrys merely raises an eyebrow and says,

"No. That will take me a while, and you are expected inside. They are safe enough over there."

"But they'll be worried about me. It's not fair on them" I reply angrily.

"Well you know what they say about life" he comments passively.

I frown, "What?"

"Life isn't fucking fair. If you never trust me on anything again, at least trust me on that one" he says, his voice holding an edge of steel.

I don't know what happened to him in his life to achieve that level on passive aggressive animosity, but whatever it was must have scarred him deep.

"Fine." I could fight this out with Emrys, but from what I know of him so far he'll hold his ground no matter what I say. I gesture towards the gate and walls that look even more imposing than before. All we have to do is cross the wooden bridge.

"What can I expect when we get inside? Where are we anyway?" I ask quickly, my mind is full of questions now that it is completely clear. I tell myself I've been thrown off kilter by the portal mirror ride, not Emrys almost kissing me.

The worst thing is that I feel comfortable here, in this world. Any normal person would be going batshit by now, but I'm calm. It all feels so familiar, however I'm not ready to believe that I'm some reincarnation of a bloody King. Not yet.

"We'll be meeting with the council. This is an entrance to The Camelot Covenant Academy. Yes, they already know you are here, they'll be waiting for us inside" answers Emrys.

"Oh right. So I'm going back to school. Excellent, because it was so much fun the first time around" I say as I thrust a hand through my hair absently.

Emrys merely nods and we both walk towards the massive metal gate. The walls are so tall that I can't even see the top, and it seems they are just as wide because I can't see where the wall curves either way.

I was right, below the bridge is a mote, the water shimmers and I can feel power emanating from it. Shit, is water magical over here? Yeah, like that's shocking by this point.

I worry about Gwen and Lance, although part of me is glad they're safe at home instead of here. I don't think Lance would react well to any of this. Lance has always had such a definite idea of who he is, no doubt. This would make him question everything. A frustrated and pissed of Lance worries me, he doesn't think straight when he's like that.

Along with the constant worry about Elyan my head might well explode by the end of today, the thought is even somewhat welcome. You know when you just want to bash your head against something?

I bet bees don't have these kinds of problems. Bees just choose a queen based on who's the fattest. I like bee politics, they're simple and don't involve magic or reincarnation. Who ever heard of a reincarnated bee? Bee's are-….oh bloody hell, even fake sanity has left the building apparently.

I hear a chuckle from the man beside me, we've now stopped in front of the gate and Emrys is looking down at me appearing thoroughly amused.

"Why are you thinking about bees?" he asks, for a moment I think he's mocking me, fair enough, who wouldn't? But then I realise he's genuinely interested, now who's the mad one?

"I'm not fat. If I were a bee things would be a lot simpler" I say. Oh, still me then.

His gaze appraises me from head to toe and I shift around under his scrutiny,

"No definitely not fat. Not a bee either. How did you get from all this" he gestures around him, "to bees?"

I struggle with how to answer that. But then I realise something else that takes up all my attention,

"Get out of my head!" I say angrily.

"No" Emrys says simply.

"What do you mean no? Get the fuck out of my head, and stay out!" I demand. I don't like knowing he can read my thoughts, the invasion of privacy is too much.

"I cannot see anything you purposely wish to hide from me. But I will not disconnect from your mind." Says Emrys firmly.

"Why the hell not?" I ask, almost afraid of the answer.

He doesn't look me in the eye when he says,

"I like how your mind feels, it keeps me...grounded"

I have no idea what to say to that, so I don't say anything.

Emrys steps forward and touches the solid metal gate. He holds out his hand to me and I hear his voice inside my head again, I'm starting to get used to that too, which scares me more than the smoke creatures did.

_**"My Prince, take my hand and I will transport us to where we must go"**_

"Can't we just get them to open it and walk through? Or is walking just not snazzy enough?" I say, not even bothering to hide the sarcasm.

_**"Do you really think we would have the entrance to an important and prestigious castle be this simple to get to? This gate is not part of the castle, it is merely another point of travel. We must use it to get to our final destination"**_

Final destination, well that doesn't sound ominous at all now does it.

But I take his hand anyway, there isn't much choice unless I want to run into the lifeless span of desert all around us. Or jump into the mote. Then do what genius, swim around in circles until I drown? Yep, good plan. With cracking plans like that I am definitely King material.

The moment my hand touches his, the world goes blank again, but instead of the numbness, I feel a surprising amount of heat flash through my body.

It's over in seconds this time, and when I open my eyes I'm greeted with a massive room full of tapestries, ornaments, weapons and a big table with people sitting around it. The table is notably not circular. This room makes the mansion look like a den made of sticks in comparison.

Emrys is standing beside me, his hand rests on my back once more and urges me forward. I go reluctantly, the table is large and has at least eight people sitting around it already.

Every one of them is dressed in clothes that go way beyond vintage. Not just any old fashioned clothes either, but expensive and high end looking clothes.

Doesn't take a genius to work out that this is the council and that the council are posh as hell. The thought makes me uncomfortable and the urge to run is almost ridiculous. They're just people. Aren't they? I still don't know anything much about this world. They could be dragons in human form for all I know.

Each member of the council stands upon seeing me. The women curtsey and the men bow. Almost as weird as the ninja Knight kneeling thing. It's then that I realise there are more ninjas in armour standing by the wooden door, a door covered in intricately carved patterns.

Emrys leads me to stand at the head of the table. They all stay standing. It's weird. Oh right, thank you brain, now you think it's weird, where was that thought back at the mansion?

Emrys stands straight and even more formally than usual as he says,

"Any changes?"

One of the council member's nods at Emrys in respect, and I suddenly realise all the council members are dividing their time between looking at me in awe and at Emrys with respect. Emrys must be something special over here.

The male council member is dressed in 1800's style grey suit, his brown hair is slicked back and he looks to be about 4o. He turns to me and says,

"Your majesty, allow me to introduce myself. I am Head of the Albian council, Agravaine, we cannot thank you enough for agreeing to meet with us".

That's not exactly how I would put it, but hell, I'm not gonna contradict a man wearing a waist coat with an expression on his face that tells me he thinks he's the shit. Immediately I don't trust him, I've listened to my gut so far, and I've always been pretty good at reading people anyway.

"That's nice. But all I really want to do is find my brother, Elyan. His….'soul' was taken by a smoky thing" I say honestly.

The man falters and questions,

"Smokey….thing?"

Emrys sighs,

"A creature of dark magic. Sent by _them_"

The confusion on Agravaine's face evaporates in understanding.

"How can I save Elyan?" I ask, desperate to do something other than stand around being bowed at.

"There are things we must discuss your majesty" Agravaine continues as if I hadn't spoken which makes my hackles rise, "Our world is in need of you. Dark magic is threatening to take over the lands of Albian, we cannot allow it".

That catches my attention,

"What do you mean by that?" I ask. This whole situation is insane, but the only way for me to understand is to get all the facts.

Agravaine looks me up and down, clearly assessing. My whole body tenses, but I don't let him see how his appraisal is affecting me. I cannot allow these people to think of me as weak, otherwise they won't tell me what I need to know.

I meet Agravaine's gaze and I hold it, unflinching. Eventually though it is Emrys who speaks. He appears to have moved slightly closer to me, the gesture is protective, and I appreciate it despite myself.

"Long before King Arthur came to power, this world was completely controlled by dark magic. The previous King decided to wipe all magic from this world. Both the good and the bad. He murdered millions. Men, women and children, it didn't matter. If they were involved in anything regarding magic then, by law, they would die" Emrys speaks with a level of detachment, but something in his voice tells me it is in fact very personal. Might be because he's a Sorcerer. But it seems more than that, as if he knows first hand how awful it all was.

My mind fills with images of innocent people being murdered out of fear. I shudder, the thoughts suddenly come to life like I'm seeing them play out right in front of me. I realise it's one of my dreams. One of my nightmares.

_A little boy and a teenage girl stand at the gallows. Their faces dirty, everything about them unkept and filthy. The boy has pale green eyes, his little body resigned to his fate. The girl's hands are clasped together. Dry blood surrounds her wrists from the bite of the chains. People watch, but they do nothing as a noose each is lowered over both their heads. The boy looks up at me then, his pale eyes so big on that small dirty face. There is accusation in that gaze._**_You are killing me, you are killing me_**_, his voice screams inside my head and it_**_hurts._**_The girl begins to laugh, crazy manic laughing that fills the silence inside the courtyard. The boy holds my gaze as drops of blood fall slowly over his cheeks from his eyes. I want to run, run to the wooden stage of death, of_**_death and blame,_**_but my body refuses to move, refuses to go to the boy who bleeds from his eyes. The girl doesn't stop laughing even when the rope tightens around her neck. She dangles there. Laughing. As the boy hangs silent and bleeding._

I shudder again. My legs feel too heavy, I want to collapse on the floor and learn to breathe again. But then Emrys is there, his hand on my wrist, whispering words into my ear. I don't know what he's saying but it works. I slowly come back into my body, I come back from that awful place.

The main reason I cannot accept that I could be what they believe is because that would mean not only are my dreams real, but so are my nightmares. When you have a bad dream and wake up, you can always comfort yourself with the knowledge that it wasn't real and that you're safe now that you're awake. If I accept the fact that my nightmares are in fact memories, then I don't think I would ever be able to breath again without feeling pain.

Emrys continues when I nod at him with reassurance I don't feel,

"When Arthur became King he worked to reclaim this world for the side of the light. He brought every person together, both magical and non-magical, and created a new world. A world of peace and equality". The pride in Emrys' voice is unmistakable. Again I wonder why. All these events must have happened some time ago, by legend it had been at least 1000 years. Emrys only looks to be in his mid twenties. Unless there's something else I need to know…

"What happened?" because obviously there is much more to this story.

Emrys is about to speak, but is cut off by another voice. A voice that slams into me with the ferocity and intensity of a lightening bolt.

"As usual the side of the self righteous got cocky and dark magic decided to remind the light of how well it can smack a bitch. Metaphorically speaking of course", the voice is so masculine and sexy that it causes my body to react instinctively, I shiver hard. His accent seems to be a mixture of English, Irish and Italian. Every word sounds low in his throat, completely confident and commanding even though his tone is casual.

I turn in the direction of the voice, as does everyone but Emrys who all but growls in response. I look in the direction I think it came from, but all I see is shadows. I stare at those shadows for a while, waiting along with everyone else. I can feel the fear in the room coming from all the council members and even the Knights.

I'm so focused on the shadows that I barely notice when Emrys moves forward as if preparing for a fight. Hell, he probably is.

I am not at all prepared for what walks out of those shadows however. The man, practically, glides forward gracefully, his movements effortless and predatory. He is tall, very tall, at least 6,5. The black wife beater and sleeveless black jacket do little to conceal his thick muscled arms and incredibly broad chest. His torso dips into a vee, and I imagine his stomach to be also highly muscled. The man's legs are just as powerful and strong looking as his arms and are encased in black close fitted trousers that are very much like the ones worn by the Knights. He wears hard looking biker boots that almost reach his knees.

The man has an impossibly handsome face with rugged and chiselled features. There is a scar that curves around one black bar pierced eyebrow. The impressive scar reaches mid cheek before it curves inwards, creating a crescent moon shape. The faint scar somehow makes his face more attractive rather than less, because it adds to his dark warrior appearance.

His arms, and what I can see of his chest, are covered with a mixture of scars and black tattoos. The tattoos twist and twine around his scars as if the scars are part of the pattern. His hair is wild and a raven's feather coloured ebony, it's a bit longer than Emrys'.

But all of that fades in comparison to his eyes. They draw me in and won't let go; for that moment his eyes possess me, mind, body and soul. They spark with the promise of danger and pleasure. More than that though is the colour. His eyes are liquid silver with pure golden flecks scattered inside the iris.

Dangerously alluring. Terrifyingly sexy. Devastatingly beautiful.

The man appears to be completely focused on me. I shiver again and he smirks devilishly, he knows exactly how he's affecting me. My cock is already hard as granite making my jeans much too tight. I should feel embarrassed, but something about this man makes it impossible to feel anything but him. For just that moment _he_is everything, and nothing else matters.

I am finally broken away from this dangerous spell when Emrys practically hisses with contempt,

"_Brother"_

Wait, holy son of a fatherfuckers bee sting! Brother?! I see it then. This is the man from my dreams, the man who stole me away from the numbness and the falling. Despite all their differences I do finally notice that they have some very obvious similarities. The set of their faces is exactly the same, now I know they are brothers it seems ridiculous that I didn't work it out for myself.

The dark warrior merely arches his bar pierced eyebrow in reaction to Emrys' tone, and replies,

"Now, now, little brother, you're going to fwighten the prats playing dress up" he gestures towards the council members who bristle at the acknowledgement, "They might choke on their own lack of competence, and we can't have that, who else would I have to amuse myself with when I'm bored"

The playfulness dances in his eyes, but there is nothing kind about it. I have no doubt that he could change from playful to deadly in seconds and without warning. His eyes still captivate mine, it's like they're peering right down into me without judgement, merely interest.

I feel exposed as he looks me over intensely, as if claiming my body with his eyes. Fear coils in my stomach. Fear, not excitement, fear. I shiver again, because I'm afraid, not because my cock is still straining against my jeans for this man.

"Where have you been brother?" questions Emrys tightly. None of the council members have moved, most appear paralysed by _his_mere presence.

His eyes flicker away from mine finally and meet Emrys' gaze full on, amusement still clear on his face, as if he finds the whole situation hilarious for reasons that we are too stupid to understand.

With his eyes away from me for a moment, I can finally breath almost evenly again. Fuck, what the hell is _wrong_with me today? I'm usually so much better at controlling my desires. But I've lost it twice today already, with two different men. Two dangerous men that probably think I'm weak. I have my control back, now I just have to fight to keep it until Elyan is safe.

"I've been…busy. Why? You miss me? Is being the light sides bitch getting tedious yet?" the man answers after a few long moments.

Emrys snorts and glares at his brother,

"Being a psycho killer must take up a lot of your time" he snaps.

His brother smirks almost gleefully and answers,

"Only if you waste any of it on remorse"

The answer is strangely honest, heartless, but still honest.

"Psychotic bastard" grinds out Emrys.

His brother laughs mockingly and replies,

"Meanie. I prefer to call it a quirk"

"Being a killer isn't a quirk" Emrys snaps back, getting more frustrated by the second. Oh shit.

"Neither is being self-righteous, and I find that much more irritating" his brother says with a shrug.

I clear my throat then, because even though watching Emrys and his brother exchange barbs is interesting, I really want to know what the hell is gong on here.

Emrys' brother turns to me and his lips twitch into an intimate smile,

"So, this is the new boy wonder? He is beautiful, I'll give him that. Pretty lips, tight arse. I like him. Not sure if he'll be able to handle the sword with that tight runner body of his though"

I try to ignore what could have been both an insult and a compliment, my cheeks flaming as I say,

"Sword? You don't mean Excalibur do you? I mean, that's not actually real is it?" I attempt to sound like I know what I'm talking about even though I have no idea really. I only know the bare facts of Arthurian legend. I used to switch off whenever Vivian would talk about it.

The stories reminded me too much of my nightmares.

Emrys' brother arches an eye brow and answers neutrally,

"Yes. Excalibur is 'real'" He turns to Emrys, his expression incredulous, "Seriously, where did you find him? He knows nothing. What, you just picked the first pretty face that looked like the Golden boy?"

Emrys clenches his fists in response and glares at his brother openly, sparks of indignant rage sparking in his eyes. The dangerous dark warrior looks unimpressed by his brother's anger, and again even slightly amused by it.

"Fuck off Mordred! We did not make this decision lightly you git" Emrys seethes.

My mind whirls all over again. Mordred? He's sure there was something about a Mordred in the old legends. Although, then again, I'm not sure how accurate the legends actually are. I mean, first of all, the table is lacking in roundness for a situation like this.

"He doesn't even seem self righteous enough! How can he possibly hope to be the new Golden boy if he doesn't have an ingrained sense of good and evil, he needs to be a judgemental twit damn it, just like the last one" Mordred drawls mockingly. He seems to be thoroughly enjoying his brother's irritation.

I can't help but wonder what caused them to become so bitter towards each other. But more importantly,

"For fucks sake! How do we get my brother back? That's all I want to know!" Which is technically not true, but it is the most important thing I want to know _**right now**_.

Later is another story.

Emrys sighs and with one last glare at his brother he turns to me and says,

"We must travel to the lake. It is the only viable option right now".

The council members stir at that statement and begin talking, arguing really, about it. Apparently many of them disagree with going to the lake. And I still don't really know what they're talking about. This day is starting to get frustrating. Right, starting to.

* * *

><p><em><strong>Special shout out to- maia smith, Misskymm,mersan123 bubzchoc Christin90 Gingerwolf96- Thank you all so much for reviewing, it means a lot to me to know that you like my story. Let me know what you think of this chapter. xxx<strong>_


	4. Task of Excalibur

Chapter four

Task of Excalibur

Hours later Emrys finally manages to convince them that the lake is where they need to go. Apparently, Emrys explained afterwards whilst showing me to my room for the night, I cannot save Elyan without first speaking to the Lady of the Lake.

Mordred disappeared whilst the council members were arguing. I have no idea how he managed to do that without anyone noticing, since he's not exactly the type to not stand out. But Emrys didn't seem at all surprised, so I suppose he must do that often enough.

At first I wanted to go straight for the Lake and get all this over with as soon as possible. Mostly because the more time we waste the more likely it is that something awful could be happening to Elyan. The thought makes my insides feel like they're turning to ice.

But eventually Emrys convinced me that going now, so close to nightfall would only encourage more dark magical creatures to come after me. I trust Emrys, I have to, because if I don't then finding Elyan will be near impossible.

Now I'm in an old fashioned room that looks like it's been transported right out of the Middle Ages. Although it is much cleaner than it would have been back then I'm guessing. Emrys stayed with me for a while but then said he had to go and make preparations for tomorrow.

I summarised that he and the council still had a lot to talk about. Some part of that bothered me, as it feels so much like they are hiding a lot of things from their supposed reincarnated King. But I have little idea of how to make them tell me.

But that doesn't mean I won't be listening in at every point I can. I'm not going into anything completely blind if I can help it. I also asked Emrys about Lance and Gwen, he told me they'd be here by tomorrow. I miss them, and after being stuck here for hours with no one I can really trust but Emrys, I also miss their unwavering loyalty.

I've been looking out one of the windows that overlook a rather large courtyard. Emrys seemed reluctant to leave me here alone. Still I keep wondering at the way he gazes at me sometimes, as if I'm something he lost a long time ago, and now that he's found me he doesn't know how to feel about it.

The sky is turning darker than I've ever seen it and I'm guessing that is because this world so far appears to be lacking in city lights. This world probably doesn't even have cities, at least not any like the ones back home.

I turn around and almost fall over in shock at the sight of Mordred sitting propped up against the headboard of the ironically, king sized bed. He seems to be completely comfortable as if there's nothing unusual about him being here.

Mordred's presence makes me feel both relaxed and even more on edge. His body is long and gorgeously muscled. The tight fitted black clothes he's wearing only emphasis that fact.

He arches a dark eyebrow at me, the one with the scar and the bar piercing. Everything about him screams dangerous and yet even now I'm drawn to him. It's more than just disconcerting.

The flecks of gold in his silver eyes flash with desire. Apparently he's as good at reading me as his brother is. Fuck, seriously I need to start censoring my thoughts more carefully. Lance and Gwen always said it was impossible to know what I was feeling most of the time, but these two men obviously don't have that much trouble.

Mordred's gaze latches on to mine and won't let go even when I hear myself whimper just from that one look alone.

"Get out of my head for fucks sake Mordred!" I force out for the sake of my sort of sanity.

This causes Mordred to smirk sexily at me as if I've just passed some sort of test. I can't decide if that pisses me off or not. I make my face as passive as I can and take a step forward even though the rational part of me is shouting that I should get far away from Mordred.

"I'm not in your head blue eyes" replies Mordred in a low voice that is slightly grittier than his brother's. _No, but you're getting under my damn skin by looking at me like that._

"But there is something I'd like to be inside of" adds Mordred hotly. My cock hardens at his words and that stupid all over body shiver is back.

Before I can answer, before I even open my mouth, Mordred has me pinned up against the wall. Our hips and groins grind together, my now fully erect cock jumps at the contact. He's tall enough that my feet are lifted off the floor, my body held in place by his strong warrior body.

Mordred's silver eyes meet mine, and again his gaze steals my breath and makes everything else in the world disappear until it is only them and this moment and this feeling of complete and undeniable _want._

I didn't even know it was possible to want someone like this. Some part of my mind is screaming at me that this is wrong in every fucking way possible for something to be wrong. But the rest of me couldn't give less of a shit.

This close up Mordred is even more devastatingly gorgeous, his wild hair so black that it's almost midnight blue. His dark stubbled jaw makes him seem older, and a lot rougher. I want so badly to kiss and bite at his neck. I _ache_to touch him, to see how rough he feels against my smooth skin.

I whimper uncontrollably when Mordred smirks, knowing full well how my body is reacting to him, and rolls his hips, causing delicious friction.

"_No, please, fuck no, Mord…red, please don't-"_I beg desperately. Both hoping he will stop and equally hoping he won't.

Mordred's eyes flash like lightening as he rolls his hips more aggressively and growls into my ear,

"My golden haired warrior angel. My blue eyed baby. So _pretty,_there are so many things I want to do to you. And I will do them, because I fucking want to. You have no escape, for this moment you. Are. Fucking. Mine." The last four words punctuated by a hard thrust each.

His words cause me to groan, as does the way he bites my ear, hard enough to hurt. Pain turns to pleasure when his lips come crashing down over mine.

The kiss isn't tentative or sweet in any way. Kissing Mordred is like a battle, teeth, lips and tongues warring against each other. The desire is officially ignited and my whole body feels like it's on fucking fire from the inside.

Want, want, want, want, _want._

Most of all that screaming voice inside my head is completely silent now. Mordred's kiss…..Mordred Mordred Mordred….thinking of him like that threatens to awaken that voice inside my head.

Red.

I'll think of him as Red.

My whole body is alight with desire even though I know I shouldn't want him. Red is obviously dangerous and I've only just met the man.

Red yanks me off the wall, my legs are wrapped around his waist tightly, our erections still causing delicious friction. Red drops me down onto the bed and immediately covers my smaller body with his much larger one.

Red has me pinned to the bed and I love how strong he is, how his powerful body is in complete control.

Red has my jeans undone and his big hand wrapped around my hardness within seconds and I let out a groan. By this point my cock is as hard as granite. I groan again loudly, and he smirks down at me, his silver eyes flash like lightening, the golden flecks dance and swirl.

Never have I seen anything both so beautiful and so lethal. The desire in Red's eyes burn hot, the heat seeps into my skin and I can barely breathe with need.

Red is ridiculously sexy, every move he makes, every touch, is like magic. The thought almost makes me laugh, because this place is magical, Red is magical.

Red leans down so his lips brush over mine as he begins to stroke me leisurely as if we've got all the time in the world to be here in this moment. My entire body is screaming for me to touch him, I want Red so much that it hurts.

I know he must be doing something to me, there is no way feeling this way is natural. Especially not for a virtual stranger. I haven't been a virgin since I was fifteen years old but something tells me I'm in an completely different league with Red.

His lips brush mine, and the stubble on his face causes me to shiver.

"Such pretty blue eyes. You're not a prince blue eyes" Red's words come out as both a whisper and a growl. His voice is rough, and his English accent is more prominent than his brother's.

I swallow hard before asking, my own voice coming out lower than ever before,

"Then what am I?"

Red moves far enough away that I can see his face and our eyes meet. The intensity in those strange eyes of his takes my breath away. For a moment I struggle to breathe.

Red slides his other hand up and into my now overly tousled blond hair. He runs his fingers through it slowly, all the while his gaze stays latched onto mine.

After a few very long moments, his other hand still working my stiff prick and the hand in my hair caressing me almost possessively, he answers,

"Mine"

Before I can even attempt to answer a noise comes from outside the door. I force myself to look away from Red and look towards the door, I wonder who it could be.

I feel Red's weight leave my body and move away. My skin still tingles from his touch and my cock is painfully hard. As the door opens I sit up and raise my gaze to find that that Red is gone.

How the hell in the name of magical pants did he do that? This magic shit is going to give me a heart attack if this is what it's like all the bloody time.

Emrys steps into the room, his presence is like a bucket of cold water. He's so handsome and mysterious looking that every time I see him I can't seem to tear my eyes away. I thought he was a bad boy biker when I first saw him, now all I can think of is noble sorcerer in a biker jacket.

He doesn't smile, and for a moment his golden eyes open wide. I realise a moment too late why he look slightly embarrassed. My jeans are still undone. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.

I do them up quickly and try my best to die quietly. Bloody Red. I notice that the window is now open and I have to guess that Red left through it. How he did it so quickly and so silently I will never know. Then again he did seem the stealthy type.

They called him an Assassin. I suppose Assassins are meant to be deadly and lethal in their stealthiness. I let that man touch me. Well, alright, _let_might be a strong word. I don't think Red is used to being 'allowed' to do anything, he's a taker not an asker.

I do my best to look casual. How Emrys would have reacted if he'd caught me and his brother….moulded together like that, I have no idea. But I imagine blood would have been spilled.

Emrys regains his composure quickly and comes further into the room. I manage to lean against the bed post without injuring myself, I'll call that a win for now. Emrys watches me, his gaze eerily similar to his brother's.

Although the difference is whereas Red's gaze was predatory, Emrys' gaze seems merely intent. I hate that these two men seem to have some sort of power over me. It has to be magic, I refuse to believe I am actually this weak.

Emrys comes to stand right in front of me, his messily styled dark hair falls over his forehead slightly and a few strands hang in his gold eyes, the silver pieces within the iris flashing like stars. Those eyes pull me in, and my breath hitches when Emrys reaches out a hand towards my face.

He stops right before touching me and lets his hand hover there for a few moments before dropping his hand with a sigh. I feel like there is something between us, something important but I just can't remember what it is. I've known him for less than twenty-four hours and yet I feel like I've known him for years.

Emrys' face is almost blank, no emotion showing through, but I can see the struggle in his eyes. He wants to touch me, and I want him to touch me. I feel like a slut. Or a man-whore as Gwen would say. Excellent. One day and I'm already losing my mind and my body to this world. This world that stole my brother.

"My Prince, the arrangements have been made for tomorrows quest" he says finally, his tone careful, almost as if he's picking his words as not to upset me.

"Did you just say the word quest?" I ask in disbelief.

He tilts his head questioningly,

"Yes. Why?"

I shake my head, still unsure if he's just fucking with me or not,

"Nothing. Just. Quest? Not mission smoke monster? Or operation Excalibur?"

He gives me an incredulous look,

"This is not funny my Prince, the whole of the magical world depends on us"

"Has anyone ever told you that you are very intense?" I ask, not even trying to hide my amusement.

His face softens after a moment of looking like he wants to throttle me, quite a terrifying thing really. I feel my body begin to heat up again at the warmness now swirling in his eyes. But even as he looks at me I can tell he isn't really seeing me.

I can't help but wonder who could make a man like Emrys look so enchanted. Whoever it is, they must be something special. A tightness coils in my gut at the thought, which is stupid on so many different levels that I refuse to even think about it.

I don't manage to get much sleep that night, my mind swirls with all the events of that day. The attraction and connection I feel to both Red and Emrys. The fact that it's looking more and more likely that this whole 'Pen is the reincarnated king of the great Arthur Pendragon' thing is actually real and not some big mistake.

How I wish this was one big nightmare that I could be woken up from. But it isn't so I'll just have to suck it up.

More importantly than anything else is Elyan, he's the only reason I'm still here. I don't want to be a King, or be responsible for a whole magical sodding world. I want to save Elyan, go home with Gwen and Lance, and bloody well stay there.

I was given fresh clothes to put on. The clothes seem to be slightly fancier versions of what the Ninja's, sorry _**Knights**_, wear. They are comfortable and much easier to move around in. They don't look bad on either, the black t-shirt and black trousers are tighter than I'm used to, but they're alright.

Emrys comes to collect me soon enough and I immediately ask to see Lance and Gwen. I've missed having my friends around to stand by my side. I won't ever take their support and loyalty for granted ever again if we live through this shit.

He tells me they are in the courtyard and have been demanding to see me ever since they got here. I smile at that, I'm sure they must have been worried. Lance is probably about to burst with anger and frustration.

Emrys is watching me even more intently than he was yesterday and it's on the tip of my tongue to ask why. But something in those golden eyes of his tells me I'd be opening a flood gate I might not be ready for.

There are some things that really are better off not being known. I know there's a connection between me and Emrys, I can bloody feel it in every cell of my body when he's close. But I don't think I can handle anymore secrets or dramatic reveals.

Emrys is still in twenty-first century clothing, with his plain white t-shirt, ripped jeans and biker jacket. He looks even more devastatingly handsome than I remember from just a few hours of sleep ago.

"My Prince-" begins Emrys, his eyes flashing with something I cannot name.

"You can call me Pen, Emrys. I know you think I'm the reincarnation of Arthur Pendragon, but…I mean…you can call me Pen, if you like" I say, part of me hoping he will accept my attempt to be more informal with him. Another part of me worried he'll push me away like he does every time we get too close.

Emrys stops and has me up against the stone wall of this castle before I can even blink twice. All the breath in my body is knocked out of me. Emrys holds me against the wall, his touch firm but somehow also gentle.

I can see that war going on inside him again. He wants me, or at least he wants something from me. He won't be admitting that any time soon, I know that as well. I wish I knew him, I wish I knew this mysterious man well enough to know what he wants and how he feels.

Red may interest me and make me crave his touch, but it's Emrys I really want to understand. I want to see inside of him because I do know there is so much more to him than he's showing me.

He leans his forehead against mine and takes in a few steadying breaths before meeting my gaze with his own. The intensity of his gaze makes my breath catch in my throat.

"You keep looking at me like he did. I thought you'd be different, I thought I could handle seeing you and being near you, but you're just so much like him. Even worse are the parts of you that are different, because they are the parts of you that make me want _**you**_ more and more. I can't want you for _you_, I have to want you for _**him"**_he whispers calmly.

I honestly have no clue what he's talking about but I can tell it's tearing him up inside. I don't want to be the cause of anyone else's pain. He jumps when I slide a hand up to cup his face and caress his strong jaw. He's clean shaven unlike his rougher brother.

This close he looks even more like Red, but the look in his eyes is pure Emrys. I could never mistake them for each other as long as I can see their eyes.

He gasps as my lips brush his and I can feel his hands trembling, so unlike the usual stoic nature of the man that I have seen so far. I press harder and he doesn't stop me, but neither does he kiss me back.

There are a hundred different things that are more important than this moment, and yet I feel like nothing could matter more than his lips on mine. Our heat and need mixing together to create something heartstoppingly beautiful.

I slide my tongue over his bottom lip, trying to coax his lips to part so I can taste the inside of his mouth. An undeniable wave of desire washes through me over and over again. My cock strains against my trousers.

But even so, this moment is not sexual, not exactly. It's far more intimate than that. Emrys moans against my mouth before pulling away and resting his forehead on mine again. I can feel his breath coming out erratically and part of me feels elated that I affect him so much.

This feels familiar somehow and again I'm truck by the notion that Emrys and I have done this a thousand times before. His thickly muscled body is pressed up against mine and I can feel his large erection pressing into me.

I close my eyes for a moment, desperately trying to grasp at some level of control, but with Emrys so close it is almost impossible to even think of anything else at all.

When I open my eyes, Emrys is staring at me, our gazes lock together and the heat and desire between us becomes even thicker. His lips come down over mine in that moment and I start to burn from the inside.

His lips are hot and insistent, his tongue sweeps inside my mouth, tasting me, possessing me in every way. My heart is bursting with something I cannot, or will not, name.

It is then that my mind is assaulted by something that can only be described as a very vivid memory.

_**'He is all I can think of. He invades my every thought. There is nothing that does not remind me of his touch, his voice, his love. Those eyes. There is no one in this world like him. I am due to marry Guinevere in a week's time. I do not regret my decision, she will make a wonderful Queen and wife. I care for her greatly. I am sure in time I will come to love her.**_

_**But until then I am free to feel love for someone else, someone whom I have loved for years, possibly since the moment we met. I am not a believer in love at first sight, but if such a thing were possible than I would say with complete certainty that it is true for us. As children we were inseparable and as adults we still do not like to be parted for long.**_

_**Soon enough I will have to part with my love for him. As King I should logically be able to have whomever I wish. Yet I wish for him every night and still it is not possible for him to be mine. He is my most loyal friend. I dare not ever call him a servant as he is far too defiant for that title. My love for him is wrong to those who do not understand how pure love is in any and all forms.**_

_**"I love you, Arthur" he whispers against my ear, fresh desire and warmth overwhelms me and I smile before pressing my lips to his. He tastes of home and safety and everything I have ever wanted.**_

_**Our bodies are tangled together after hours of love making. I can never get tired of touching him, of letting him touch me. I am King Arthur Pendragon, and yet I am at the mercy of this man. He has given me every part of himself, and in return I am marrying a woman.**_

_**I know I am hurting him. I always do. But I am far too selfish to let him go. I need him close. Not just for this, but also because he is my most trusted advisor, there is no one else I trust and who believes in me as Camelot's King as much as he does. He believes I will be known as a legendary King one day. That people from all around this world and the other worlds will know my name.**_

_**The secret that I do not tell is that I believe they will know his name also.**_

_**"No matter what either of us become, we will always have this. This is all I have ever wanted, you are mine forever, and I am yours" I whisper against his lips. Our gazes meet and I see all his love and mine reflected in his eyes.**_

_**"Mine forever Arthur" he murmurs, the words carry a heavier weight than ever before with the wedding so close. He knows of my impending marriage of course, but I have not told him what my other plans are. After that day we will never have this again, I will have to let him go. I will not tell him, I cannot, it would break me to see the betrayal in his eyes.**_

_**"Yours forever Merlin"**_

I break out of the memory gasping. Emrys is no longer kissing me and has moved away from me completely. I already miss his warmth and that scares me. That memory was obviously of my past life as King Arthur.

The realness of it…I felt every emotion as if it were my own, and even now those feelings are still inside of me, swirling around, making my heart pound faster and faster.

I loved him. No, King Arthur loved him. I am not that man. I am not the man who gave up love to marry a woman I did not love. I would never do something like that, never. The strength of will that would take is not within me.

The pain in Emrys' eyes tell only too clearly how much my decision-_his decision-_destroyed him. I could never hurt Emrys like that. Emrys? Merlin? Does it matter now?

I don't know anymore. That memory confirmed so many things that before were just 'maybes'. I bend over at the waist and try to choke back the sickness rising in my throat.

Emrys says nothing, he does not touch me and I can't blame him. After what I-_he-_did, I cannot understand how Emrys can even look at me. I felt the love Emrys felt for me-_him._It must have hurt like a fucking bitch when that love was ripped apart so brutally by the very man who claimed to love him.

After a few very long moments I stand with my back pressed up against the wall, still unable to meet Emrys' eyes. He seems to be having the same problem, and again I really can't blame him.

Suddenly Emrys looks up and into my face, his eyes are swirling with barely controlled emotion. He takes a step toward me, but on instinct I flinch back. He stops short, the pain in his gaze intensifying to an almost unbearable level.

"Arthur-", he begins carefully, but I interject because I cannot stand another moment of this. It's too much and I hate that I'm so unsure of everything now. I don't even know who I am anymore, or who I'm meant to be, or if I even care what my destiny is, or was.

"No. I'm not him Emrys. I'm not that man you loved so much. I may be his reincarnation. Maybe. But I will never be him, please don't make me feel like I have to bear the guilt of his mistakes as well as my own" I say, the words coming out half choked.

My eyes sting sharply, the impending threat of tears forces me to grit my teeth and try to get the fuck over this. At least for now. For now my main concentration should be Elyan, as long as I focus on that I'll be fine.

Fine.

Emrys seems to come back into himself at my words, as if suddenly realising how much emotion he'd been showing me before. He straightens, his back stiff, his face set once again in that serious no-emotion-like state. I hate it, I hate that I'm at least partly to blame for that.

Without another word Emrys begins walking again. He doesn't even gesture for me to follow, but I do anyway because I sense we're now back to strictly business. Which is good, because right now anything more than that might just kill me.

The moment we get into the courtyard and I see Gwen and Lance everything feels slightly more normal. As normal as a situation like this can ever actually feel.

I run to them, they meet me half way and we crash together in a messy embrace. I missed them, it's only been less than a day, but I really did miss having them by my side. If anyone can keep me from losing then it's them.

I pull away first and we all take a step back. Lance still has hold of my arm in a vice like grip. He looks me over as if checking for any sign of injury. I want to tell him I'm alright, but I'm afraid the words won't ring quite true.

Gwen bites her lip nervously. Her long blond hair blowing slightly because of the slow breeze rolling through the courtyard. Her big blue eyes are so much like Elyan's that I feel something tighten in my gut. I realise how selfish I've been, nothing is more important than finding Elyan.

"How have you been Pen? What's going on? They won't tell us shit" Lance asks, his hazel eyes wide with worry. I know he must have gotten zero sleep last night. Gwen looks just as tired but somehow still breathtakingly beautiful. I imagine I'd hate her if I was a girl.

I sigh heavily and run a hand through my hair,

"We're going to 'the lake', apparently we need Excalibur" I answer, surprising myself by keeping a straight face all the way through.

Twenty four hours ago I would have laughed at those words. But now everything is different. Everything.

Gwen makes a face,

"Are you fucking with me? Mum said we'd probably be going off to find Excalibur but I thought she was just….I don't know, but I didn't think she was serious…" Gwen looks so frazzled by it all, and I really can't blame her, I feel the same way.

"Yes, apparently the magical sword of legend is real. So is magic, obviously. I'm actually the reincarnation of King Arthur Pendragon and you two are magical creatures. I feel like I'm in a nightmare that just keeps getting more complicated and ridiculous" I say to them both.

I take note of the many Knights standing around guarding….Camelot I suppose. It bothers me that I don't now more about this, well, boarding school basically.

Although it seems to be more of a fortress for the council. I haven't seen many students up close yet, they are all apparently in classes at the moment according to Emrys.

I notice then that Emrys is speaking with a woman about ten feet away. I don't recognise her from the council. She is very beautiful with big cat green eyes and long wavy brown hair. The woman is tall and wearing a long green dress that bring out her eyes even more.

For some reason I feel a coil of dread in my stomach at the sight of her with Emrys. It isn't jealousy, but it's definitely something harsh. I hate these emotions that seem to be coming out of nowhere. Then I start to wonder if they are even my emotions, maybe they're _his._

"Stop glaring Pen", Gwen's voice breaks through my thoughts and I look away from Emrys to meet her gaze.

"What? I wasn't glaring" I argue, although I have no idea if I was, watching them together did give me a weird feeling. I still can't say for sure what that feeling was, but it's bothering me.

I have no real right to feel anything even remotely possessive towards Emrys. It may technically not have been me who broke his heart, but that doesn't mean I don't feel guilty about it anyway.

I still can't wrap my head around the fact that Emrys was alive all those years ago. He doesn't appear to have aged a day. It must be some sort of magical Sorcerer thing. From what I can tell Emrys is very powerful, and he is Merlin, _the_Merlin after all.

I wonder who knew about Arthur and Merlin back then. Did Red know? Is that one of the reasons why the two brothers seem to have such animosity between them? I really hope not. I'd hate to be one more reminder of past pain for Emrys.

Did Arthur and Red ever…no, I refuse to go down that path. By the way Red described King Arthur it didn't sound like he considered him a lover. Besides, no one would dump someone they love because of their duty and then start something up with someone like Red.

I think I can safely assume Red was alive back then too. He was probably a Knight or something. I can't help but want to know what kind of man he was. Emrys seems to have changed quite a bit since then, but that is most likely because he had his heart broken by someone he loved very dearly.

What happened to Red to make him the way he is? Was it something similar, or completely different? I don't believe for a second that he was always this cold and uncaring. The man is like cold fire, icy yet searingly hot.

As if on cue Red chooses that moment to come striding into the courtyard. All the ninja's seem to go on high alert and appear poised to fight at any moment. They are waiting for orders.

He has his usual swagger mixed in with the deadly movements of a predator. Maybe he was born to be a killer, he makes it seem so natural. His black hair is so dark that it's almost blue and the dark strands curl slightly over his ears. He still has a bit of stubble on his handsome face, but that just adds to his badass image.

I have no idea if he does it on purpose or if he just looks like that anyway. He's dressed less like an Assassin this time in dark worn jeans, a black t-shirt that is tight against his broad chest and muscled arms. He wears a black leather jacket and black boots as well as the bar piercings. Everything about him screams dangerous, he's a shark with silver eyes that flash like lightening.

As he moves closer I notice that there are words printed on his t-shirt, they're small but I can just about see them. The words are _'__**I'm not evil, I am simply drawn that way'.**_

I fight the urge to laugh, but an involuntary snicker escapes and Red's silver eyes cut right over to me. I feel pinned in place by that gaze and any trace of laughter dies in my throat and is replaced with desire for Red's touch. Again. Fuck.

He smirks, like he knows exactly what I'm thinking. Hell, maybe he does know. Red is Emrys' brother after all, they might have the same abilities.

Someone gives me a sharp elbow to the stomach. I jerk in response and catch both Gwen and Lance giving me weird looks, although Lance's look is decidedly more pissed off.

Apparently you don't need mind reading skills to figure out what im thinking these days. Excellent. But this is hardly the time for reassurance, especially considering the fact that I don't know if I can reassure Lance of anything.

Red stops in the middle of the courtyard and makes no move to come any closer to me. I don't know how to feel about that. He looks away from me after a moment and I follow his gaze to Emrys. Emrys has gone impossibly still and his fists are clenched. He doesn't seem that surprised to see his brother though.

Is Red actually coming with us to the lake? If so then this whole day just got a shit load more complicated.

Emrys moves towards Red and I can practically feel the anger coming off of him. Red however seems completely unaffected and laid back. Just like he always was in my dreams. No matter what happened he never lost it, or got scared in any way, shape or form. He enjoyed the chaos and danger, embraced them both like old friends.

Emrys hisses words to his brother, sounding frustrated even though I cannot actually hear the words he is saying. Red again appears unbothered by Emrys anger towards him and even rolls his eyes at one point. Emrys seems to be warning Red about something, and Red doesn't appear to give two shits about whatever it is. I can only hope they don't kill each other before they even get to the lake.

I can feel both their gazes on me every now and again, it causes my insides to twist into knots of indecision and confusion. What the fuck is going on here? I understand my connection with Emrys to a certain extent, but why Red? Why do I feel connected in some way to them both so intensely.

The woman who had been standing with Emrys does not follow him and instead chooses to move gracefully towards me and my friends. I move so that I am in front of them both protectively. I can't trust anyone around here for shit. The only person I believe wouldn't hurt me is Emrys, even though he has the most right to hate me.

The beautiful woman stops before me and arches a thin eyebrow, as if trying to decide the best form of introduction. I go for it instead,

"I'm Pen, this is Gwen and Lance? Who are you? I didn't see you at the council meeting? How do you know Emrys" I didn't mean for it to come out sounding accusatory, but a sharp look from Gwen tells me it did.

The woman shows no other reaction than to clench her jaw ever so slightly. If I wasn't so used to noticing things like that about people I probably would have missed it.

"My name is Morgana. I am the headmistress of CamelotCovenantAcademy. Merlin is my husband"

And with that, a whole new bag of 'what-the-actual-fuck' just exploded all over the fucking place.

* * *

><p><em><strong>Special shout out-Kaeberlily, Christin90, mersan123 and bubzchoc- Thank you for reviewing my peoples, love it! xxx<strong>_


	5. Lovers revealed

**Chapter five**

**I do not own Merlin in any capacity and I'm writing this story for free. Because I'm nice like that.**

**Lovers revealed**

Husband. Husband. HUSBAND! I stare at her like she's just suggested I go capture myself a unicorn. Then again, knowing what I know about this world I wouldn't be surprised if horses have been upgraded to unicorns. Morgana stares right back at me, unflinching. A gleam in her eyes tells me she's been looking forward to this moment.

Why, I haven't got a clue. Unless she knew about Arthur and Merlin all those years ago. My memory flash back showed me nothing of her being married to Merlin, or him mentioning a wife in any way. Are they still married? Did he marry her after he had his heart broken by Arthur?

There are way too many questions I want to ask, although technically I have no right to any of the answers. It's not my business. Even if I am the reincarnation of King Arthur, I refuse to believe we are the same person. Merlin did not fall in love with me, he fell for Arthur. Just because we look the same doesn't mean anything.

Even me having his memories means little. I can feel her stare and it makes me stand a little straighter, a little taller. Which has like zero effect as I'm about five inches shorter than her. It's not my fault that everyone around here seems to be six foot something. I feel defensive and I don't know why. She's definitely got the whole scary head teacher vibe down pat.

I almost tell her that, but decide joking would get me nowhere with this elegantly harsh woman. Before I can say anything in response Lance speaks for me,

"Like, seriously, you're Emrys' wife?" I have no idea how Lance knows Emrys is actually Merlin, Vivian probably told him and Gwen a lot of things. Hell, they probably know more than I bloody do.

I feel another pair of eyes on me then, and before I can take another breath Emrys himself is standing beside me. I can't even look at him. I have no idea what my reaction will be to his presence.

"Yes. Morgana is my wife" he says, voice betraying nothing.

I finally raise my gaze to his. There is nothing in his eyes that tell me what he is thinking. It's worse than anger or scorn, much worse. I hate the emptiness that fills me up at the coldness of his expression. I look away before he can see too much of my own very real emotions.

I can't look at Gwen or Lance either because Gwen will look at me with concern and Lance will either be gloating or pissed off. Instead my gaze finds its way over to Red, who is standing where Emrys left him.

Those silver eyes draw me in once more, but as well as the desire for his touch I also feel a new sense of strength slam through me. I can feel his own confidence meshing with mine and giving me a mental push to stand my ground.

His expression does not change from slightly amused, but inside I know he's offering his full support for this moment. I appreciate it more than I could ever describe. When I meet Emrys' gaze again I do not react to his coldness or the information that has been shoved in my face.

Instead I simply ask,

"How are we getting to the Lake?"

Emrys appears taken aback by the question but quickly hides that emotion as well.

"We'll be walking. The Lake is at the center of the forest. It should take us two days at the most. We'll be taking only a handful of Knight's with us as we do not want to draw attention to you. As far as we can tell the powers of evil do not know you are here. We want to keep it that way for as long as possible"

I nod once and say nothing more. I can feel both Gwen and Lance tense beside me. They can read my body language and are affected by it quite a bit. I try to stay calm in the hope that they will also stay calm. The last thing we need is Lance going off on one, or fighting with Emrys.

I do love Lance but he is the biggest hot head I have ever met. Emrys turns away from me when it becomes obvious I am not going to say anything more,

"I will go and bring out your personal protection team of Knights and re-introduce them to you…Pen" Emrys is careful with his words, and I brighten slightly at the use of my nickname.

Emrys moves away towards the castle, I watch him go, my mind whirring with possibilities. Maybe, just maybe I'll get through this without anything awful happening to me or the people I care about. Maybe. Nah, something shitty is definitely going to trample me, I can feel it in my bones.

Morgana has moved on to a fully out and proud glare now. For the first time I feel the full extent of her resentment towards me.

She opens her mouth to speak, the sneer in her voice only too obvious,

"Merlin has told me much about you…_Arthur_" she spits the name like a curse. Oh yes, she knew about Merlin and Arthur. I can only hope Morgana doesn't hate me enough to become a real problem.

Morgana looks me up and down with distaste "So very…ordinary." She says plainly, and fight the urge to flip her off, I don't even know if she'd understand the gesture if I did. Do they flip people off in this world? Or does 'fuck you too sir' have to be said outright?

Lance tense up beside me and I can feel more than see Gwen's glare. I can tell they both have the same urge I do.

Without me having even realised he moved, Red is there beside Morgana. Casual and all too smirk in place. That smirk is both sexy and deadly, I don't know whether to be turned on or afraid of it. He really is a shark mixed with some kind of lone wolf. Red, the big bad wolf. It fits.

"Now, now, Ana, don't be a raving bitch too early on in the quest or you'll run out of steam half way through, and THEN what would we all do. I could feed you to an ogre, now _**that**_ would be a quest worth going on" Red drawls, his voice low and smooth like velvet. It's different to the one he used when he was in my room yesterday. Yesterday it was rougher, and almost more…dare I call it honest, at least emotionally.

She turns her glare onto Red, and her anger flares even hotter.

"HE, ruined my life. HE ruined Merlin's life. And now just because he doesn't remember those things we are meant to forget it all. I will not, I refuse to pretend" she snipes, rage clear on her face.

I cannot help but wince slightly at Morgana's words. "Look, I don't want any misunderstandings, I'm not here to hurt anyone. I know Arthur broke Emrys' heart, and if that meant he broke yours too then im sorry, I really am. But I'm not him, I would never do that to someone" I honestly hope I wouldn't anyway.

Morgana turns to me, her gaze now no longer seething but lost and almost empty,

"I lost my heart a long time ago" she says coldly, and once again the anger is back.

I look from Lance to Gwen, they both seem rather confused and I can't blame them. Red however appears to find it all very amusing and says, "Did you check under the bed…sometimes shit roles under there by mistake". I hate that part of me wants to laugh my arse off.

The whole situation suddenly strikes me as ridiculous. I am not Arthur. Yet here I am with an angry wife head mistress on my case, an ex lover who isn't even technically my ex lover, my brother stolen by smoke creatures, and an Assassin who I desire despite the fact that…well, despite the fact that he kills people.

I should definitely care about that. Arthur probably would have. One more thing that makes us different.

Morgana turns her glare onto Red, he doesn't react in the slightest, if anything her anger makes him appear more amused than ever. If nothing else, I envy his ability to stare down a scorned woman. I know from experience that a revenge seeking woman can be dangerous as fuck, Gwen has proven that more than once.

Her green cat like eyes almost glow with rage. Red looks down at her, his own lightening gaze daring her to say one more thing against me. His subtle defence of me causes a warm wave of something to rush through my body.

Morgana's gaze drops to the ground first and then flickers up to meet mine once more. She says nothing, but the burning hatred in her eyes says everything anyway. So now I've made an enemy for life without even trying, excellent.

I refuse to apologise for something I didn't technically do. I am NOT Arthur. People around here are eventually going to have to get that through their thick skulls.

Morgana walks off then. More like storms away to the sound of thunder and horror film music. That woman is all kinds of scary. She stands by the Knights in the courtyard, conversing with one of them quietly.

If she's planning my slow and painful death I hope it doesn't involve being eaten by anything, I'd really hate that.

"Going to introduce me to your…friends, blue?" Red's smooth sexual voice vibrates through my body like a strong caress. My gaze flickers to his, the moment our eyes meet everything from yesterday comes rushing back.

Red's strong masculine hands on my body. Red's tongue invading my mouth and claiming me for that moment as his. Only his. I can't help but wonder if he treats all the people he's fucked like that. And fucked is the right word. I don't imagine for a moment that Red 'makes love' to anyone.

Emrys does. Or, he did. Or _Merlin_did. Merlin made love to Arthur. I could feel it in my memory flash back. The love and connection they shared was so intense that I understand completely why it would still affect Emrys even all these years later.

I swallow hard and turn to Lance and Gwen who have been curiously quiet all this time. Gwen quirks an eyebrow looking at Red with thinly disguised awe and attraction. Anyone and everyone would be attracted to Red.

I know even Lance must be even though both his stance and the hardness in his usually soft hazel eyes suggests contempt for Red. For everyone and everything involved in this whole bloody thing. I understand why. He was the one who always said I wasn't part of the world we lived in, that I was meant for something else.

I thought he meant metaphorically. Apparently the universe has more tricks up its sleeve than that.

I don't look at Red, knowing how much he affects me and not wanting my friends to know, as I say,

"Gwen, Lance, this is Re-Mordred, he is Emrys' brother"

I panic for a moment thinking maybe I told them something that is meant to be a secret. But Red doesn't seem bothered by it. Somehow I know Emrys will be. Gwen puts on a friendly smile that will get her nowhere with Red. He doesn't do polite or friendly, I can tell that already.

"Nice to meet you Mordred….are you a sorcerer too then?" Gwen asks, her face showing actual interest. I'm not the only one who has become naturally intrigued by Red. Lance shifts uneasily as Red meets both of my friend's gazes straight on, that lethal smirk still causing me to want to kiss it off.

I imagine the end result of me dong something like that would be me tied down in some way with Red showing me in detail who is in charge. A shiver of pleasure runs through me just at the thought. I've never thought about bondage before, or anything sexual that isn't simply sex. But with Red the dirty thoughts fill up my mind with possibilities.

I feel Red's liquid silver gaze on me suddenly and I just know that he is perfectly aware of what he does to me. He seems to be enjoying it immensely. Can't say I'm not enjoying it a bit either. So wrong, so fucked up in a situation like this. Yeah, like there are other situations that are anything like _this._

Red responds with,

'I am an Assassin. My brother is the famous sorcerer"

He doesn't say he _isn't_ a sorcerer. Another story, another mystery. One more thing I might never know about both Red and Emrys. I want to know though, I really do. That within itself might just get me killed if the smokey things made from 'evilness' don't get me first.

Gwen frowns slightly and Lance becomes even more wary than before, like now he knows what Red is he is somehow a real threat. To be fair, he is.

"An Assassin? So that means you-"

"Kill people. Yes" Red finishes without shame or even the slightest hint of regret. Red's a killer and he doesn't give a shit what anyone thinks about it. Again, should bother me way more than it actually does.

Gwen seems taken aback by Red's blunt confirmation. Lance looks about ready to grab me and Gwen and push us behind him. I see that Red notices how Lance is edging towards me protectively. The amusement in his eyes flashes again and I can tell he's stopping himself from laughing.

Before the tense situation can get any worse I feel the heat of Emrys coming closer. Our bond is both strange and comforting. I like it, and yet the thought of him being inside my head bothers me.

I then see Emrys coming out of where he disappeared off to not long before to get my 'private protection team' of Knights. I can only hope Arthur never did anything to them. I cannot be fucked to deal with having someone from my past that isn't even actually my own past hating me.

If these people were even alive back then like Emrys, Red and Morgana appear to have been. Either someone's got a TARDIS or they bought the car from the movie 'Back to the future'.

Emrys comes to stand only a few feet away from me. The three Knights are dressed in the same sort of style armour as all the other Knights, however their's appears to be special, or at least more detailed and fancy. Then again if they really were Arthur's personal protection team then it would make sense that they'd need to stand out.

Emrys tenses, I can feel it as if the feelings are actually my own. For a moment I wonder why, and then I realise that he's tense because of Red. I bite my lip self conciously, both Emrys and Red are watching me intensly, like they're waiting for me to make a decision. Red has moved so that he is now facing Emrys but also that he is closer to me. I don't know what to make of that right now. His presence still confuses my senses.

I step forward, hoping Gwen and Lance will read me well enough to stay out of this for now. Red keeps his eyes on me, although i do not believe for one second that he is ignortant of his brother's discomfort. In fact Red seems to find frustrating Emrys endlessly amusing. I can't tell if that's a sibling rivarly thing or something else that happened between them that I am not aware of.

Lance, Gwen and I have had our fair share of arguments, sometimes pretty damn heated, especially as we got older. Me and Lance would tease the crap out of Gwen because it was funny to watch her lose it. I remember once that we made Gwen cry by pretending a monster lived in the woods near the mansion and that it would come and eat her at night.

We convinced her in only the way two young boys can. I felt awful about it when she got so upset and apologised over and over again. I even stayed with her all night just to show her that I really didn't mean it.

There was never anything even close to the animosity Emrys and Red have between them. Again I want to know why. Was it something that always caused problems between them? Were they ever just two normal brothers who loved each other? I decide that it isn't much use thinking to hard about it, the liklihood is that I'll never know.

Emrys' golden eyes are alight with frustration and anger, but none of that comes out in his voice when he says, "My prince, these men are your-were Arthur's-most trusted Knights" he gestures towards each of the Knights as he tells me thier names "This is Gawain, Percival and Leon"

The three Knights go down on one knee as bow their heads in what i'm guessing is sign of respect. It seems stupid to me that three men who are so much older and more experinced than I am feel the need to bow to me. I am not Arthur, I am not a King, or even a Prince.

Yet I still feel a sense of pride when I look at the three of them knealing before me. Some part of it feels familair and..right.

"Uh" I try to adopt some sort of confident tone that will make it sound like I know what I'm talking about, as i expect Emrys wants me to, "You, may, rise...Knights". I hear Gwen and Lance behind me stiffling laughter, it is fucking ridiculous in a way.

Out of the corner of my eye I see Red smirking evily and that almost makes me forget how silly I feel and a smile escapes from my lips. He looks so devilshly handsome when he smirks like that, i bet he has gotten more than one person into bed with that one look alone.

The three Knight's stand, immediately complying with my request as if on instinct. Do they see me as their former King? I hope not or they are going to be wildly dissapointed.

I look them over properly for a moment, taking in details and trying to coax out a memory, hopefully one not quite as vivid as the one about me and about people dying. I hate those. I've had dreams, nightmares really, where so many people die in horrible ways. I now know they were not dreams, but memories of my previous life as King Arthur.

Gawain is very handsome in a rougish sort of way, especially with his dark long hair and eyes that look almost black. Leon is the opposite with light close cropped hair and bright eyes, yet there is something in them that tells me just how much he has seen and gone through in his life.

All three of them appear to have warrior fit bodies, but it is Percival who really draws the eye in that area. He is so tall and broad that I'd be afraid he could kill me with one punch if he wanted to. But there is a certain kindness to his demeanor that makes me think he is the least likely to do something that violent out of the three.

"We serve you still Arthur Pendragon, heir to the throne of Camelot" Leon states respectfully as he meets my eyes, the unwavering loyalty in his own pale eyes is enough to throw me off. It is strange as hell to be treated like a King they must have known very well and yet have no memory of them. At least not yet.

"Thank you Leon, all of you, that means a lot. I just want to find my brother and...does everyone really call you percival?" I ask, the thought forcing it's way out of my mouth before I can stop it. Oh fuck.

Percival looks up at me, clearly surprised by my question. Of course he is, he's probably normal and not an idiot who asks stupid questions at innapropriate times like me. To be fair the man, Knight, takes it in his stride and answers after a few moments, "What else would people call me?"

Before I can stop myself I say, "Percy?" I really need to stop talking without thinking, it'll probably get me killed one day. Red lets out a snort of laughter at my suggestion but i ignore him, already feeling like a twit.

However Percival smiles broadly, matching the rest of him, and replies "Percy it is then your Highness"

"Oh fuck no. None of that please. I'd rather you all call me Pen, i haven't earned the right to be called your Highness or anything like that" I say it because it's true. If they all expect me to just step right back into power as their King or whatever then they're definitely living in looney land or on some kind of magical weird pixie dust drug.

Ha, pixies, are there pixies here?

Not the fucking time brain! Stop thinking about pixies damn it!

Leon, Percy and Gawain appear unsure if I'm being serious. I understand why, as I'm guessing the former Arthur would never have had a nickname. I try to look as sincere as possible when I say, "Listen, I know you think I'm the reincarnation of King Arthur, but I'd rather you think of as Pen, the young man who wants to find his brother, and not your former King. I would appreciate it if you could do that for me"

They look at each other, clearly communicating in a way that I cannot see. I take the time to study Emrys. The impossibly handsome man who once held the heart of the greatest King who ever lived. The man who thousands of stories has been based around. Merlin. The all powerful sorcerer.

I want to turn and make eye contact with both Lance and Gwen. I want to know how they feel about all this. There is not an important moment in my life where at least one of them wasn't there for. It's only right that they are part of this madness as well.

I refuse to turn and look at him, but I can still feel Red's gaze on me. The smirking bastard. He's watching me as intently as Emrys is. Both of them making me feel exposed in two completely different ways.

Gold and Silver. Fire and lightening. A tsunami and a volcano. The Sorcerer and the Assassin.

Two Enemies. Two Brothers. Torn apart by what?

Eventually Gawain grins, it is so infectious that I feel myself grinning right back, even more I feel that Gawain and I have shared moments like this before. Maybe Arthur and Gawain were close friends, or just trusted each other as warriors. Fighters and protectors of Camelot.

Emrys did say they were part of King Arthur's personal protection team. So he must have trusted them quite a great deal. But can I trust them? Even if they do still think of me as their King, or at least their old friend, it has been a long time. Things must have changed a lot since Arthur died.

"We will comply with your request….Pen" Gawain states confidently. Leo and Percy are quick to agree.

I see Emrys roll his golden eyes, but there is a spark of amusement, I couldn't possibly miss it. I feel so closely connected to him right now, our minds are linked in a way that is impossible to describe. It is overwhelming and awfully invasive, but I do get some comfort from the knowledge that he is always close even if he isn't.

I wish so much that we didn't have everything hanging between us. I wish we'd met outside of all this. I see why Arthur loved him even having only known Emrys for a short time as myself. In my dreams, it was always Red though, and I can't understand why. Maybe it was too painful for me to remember Emrys after what I did in my former life.

I remind myself that it wasn't actually me. Bloody hell, my mind has become an assault course that I cannot escape. I think back to when I was hunting for my English notes. Joking around in Lance's car. Talking to Elyan about his bad behaviour at school. Simple moments that I may never get to enjoy again.

"Thank you" I say to the three Knights, even if it is just instinct I am still grateful that they are willing to see me as me, instead of what once was. Or could have been.

I notice Gawain, Leon and Percy sneaking glances behind me at Gwen and Lance. I see the recognition in their eyes, and I pray that it isn't for the reason I think it is. I had been ignoring the possibility on purpose because I don't want my relationships with Gwen and Lance to be part of this. The thought that we are connected in that way, from former lives, hurts me. I want what we have to be real, not something from a past none of us can remember.

Red breaks me out of my thoughts by saying, "Come on then, blue eyed boy wonder, let's go quest the fuck out of this hike" I barely manage to conceal a bark if laughter. The Knights do not conceal theirs though.

They have been casting glances over at Red ever so often since they came out, and I saw them tense when they first saw him. Seems Red has one hell of a dangerous reputation if even the greatest Knights of Camelot fear him.

That definitely should not turn me on as much as it does. I think I've taken one too many knocks to the bloody head.

Despite the fear and wariness in their expressions I do not see the same anger that clearly shows in Emrys' eyes. "We must leave now" Emrys states, clearly trying to ignore his brother, "there is much ground to cover and very little time to do it" I agree with firm nod, it's time to go get my brother back, whatever the cost, he is all that really matters.

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><p><em><strong>Special shout out to-TheShippingKnight, Rowenna J. Anderson, Kaeberlily and mersan123- I love your reviews you amazing people! xxx<strong>_


	6. A Flock of Warks

_**I do not own Merlin. At all. Unfortunately.**_

**Chapter six**

**A Flock of Warks**

Red wasn't even joking, this is one hell of a sodding hike. I've never been one for exercise. Apart from when I go running, but that's only when I feel stressed and need to do something so that I don't lose my shit.

You'd have thought all this would be stressing me out more than anything else ever had, but surprisingly I feel like we have a goal. Get to the lake. For now that's all I'm going to worry about, the rest can wait.

Emrys leads out group. I'd have thought Red would fight him for the position of team leader as there seems to be a constant battle of wills going on between them. But Red hangs back, moving apart from us almost as if he is pretending we aren't together.

The lone wolf.

So far everything has been quite…calm. I try not to think too much of it. I can tell it is making Emrys tense though. He's waiting for something bad to happen. To be honest, so am I.

The part of the forest we are in at the moment appears fairly normal, although I do feel a deep sense of 'other' about it. Like there's something all around me that I just can't see. Maybe it's the magic of this world, I felt it before when I first arrived.

The feeling is stronger now though. We left the castle through another portal and I can now officially say I dislike portals. Red and Emrys had a bit of a stand off about who was taking me through the shimmering water-like wall of magic.

They didn't say anything, but the implication was clear. I finally put my foot down and said I'd do it by my bloody self thank you very much. I'm not a princess who needs to be carried everywhere. I may not be a lethal killer or a Knight but I can damn well walk without help. I'm not an invalid, and I don't want my two 'handlers' getting pissy with each other about it either.

Lance and Gwen are walking together, they have been giving me strange looks since the wall incident and I don't feel like answering questions about it right now. Especially with both Red and Emrys so close. I do want to tell them eventually though, about everything I've learned since we've been apart. I don't know if I can handle it all on my own.

Emrys has been studiously ignoring me since passing through the portal as well. His face a mask of stone. Gawain, Percy and Leon are close by, but they are spread out enough that they can cover al sides in case of an attack.

I do not feel the need to ask what we might be attacked _**by**_. Elves. Witches. Griffins. Dragons. Those sparkly fuckers that Gwen loved when she was thirteen. The bloody woman forced me and Lance to watch that ridiculous film. My eyes burned from laughing so hard. Gwen did not find my constant witty commentary amusing at all. Lance did, he laughed even harder than me, falling off the sofa in the process.

In a bid to escape the questioning gaze from Gwen, the jealous looks from Lance and the coldness of Emrys' face, I make my way casually over to Red. That earns me clenched fists and narrowed eyes from Emrys.

I hate that he's angry with me. I can feel it through our connection and it's making me twitchy.

Red turns that dangerously sexy smirk on me the moment I get within a few feet of him. His handsome face daring me to come closer, so I do. I grin at him, and he moves so that our arms brush as we make our way through the thick forest.

Then I remember the pissing match between him and Emrys and I say,

"About what happened at the portal, I don't want to be part of your and Emrys' sibling rivalry shite. I am not going to be chucked around like a fucking tennis ball just because you two-"

"Why specifically a _tennis_ ball?" Red asks as if it's a completely valid question. I honestly don't know if he simply has no social skills or if he doesn't give a fuck about the normal ways to behave and talk to people. I'm guessing the latter.

"Shut up" I snap, not wanting him to think I'll let him make a joke out of it.

"Just a question, blue", and there's that smirk again, the arrogant, gorgeous, bastard. He's such a complete git. My cock is still standing at full attention though when he calls me by his chosen nickname, and when our skin brushes I still feel a shock of desire run through me almost painfully.

I roll my eyes and run a hand through my tousled blond hair out of frustration, "Oh, fuck me-"

"Say please"

"Fuck you!" I hiss, wanting to thwack the tosser over the head with something. Something heavy. Something sharp and heavy. Bastard.

"It's going to take a lot more than saying please for me to allow that, baby" Red's voice has gone all gravelly and it washes over me like a caress.

I choke out a laugh and Red winks at me without any further comment. Before I can say anything in return Red jerks to a stop, his stance changing from handsome warrior to lethal Assassin so fast that it makes me dizzy.

Emrys has stopped moving as well and his head is cocked to the side, obviously listening for something. I strain my ears to try and catch on to what he's listening to. There is nothing but that eerie silence, which is making me feel more uncomfortable by the second.

The forest should be full of noises. The animals, the birds, the wind blowing the leaves and trees. All of that should make the forest anything but silent. But there is nothing. I start to feel a deep sense of foreboding, something isn't right.

It all happens so fast that I barely have time to register what is happening. I am knocked to the ground by Red just as a black shape comes hurting towards. Chaos breaks out and I try to get a good look at what the fuck is going on.

Red has a bow and is firing arrows all over the place with expert precision and deadly intent. The creatures that he is aiming are moving so fast that I can't see them properly. I do see my three Knights fighting off the creatures though. They seem to be doing well.

I frantically look for Gwen and Lance, but I can't see them anywhere. I get up off the ground, careful not to get in Red's way. I see Lance then, he is using his body to protect Gwen, and in front of him is Emrys. My heart stutters at the sight of him using his magic, it appears to be some kind of shielding or protection spell as the creatures keep bouncing off of the blue wall of power I can see Emrys has created.

Even whilst using his magic he is looking around for something, desperation in his golden eyes. I am more grateful than I've ever been that he is keeping my friends are safe. Warmth spreads through me at the gesture that I am sure is for my benefit to at least some degree. Our gazes finally meet then, and the relief and frustration in his eyes echoes right back at him from mine.

I tear my eyes away from Emrys even though I really don't want to and concentrate on what is going on around me. Red is still firing arrows, hitting his target every time. I know he is protecting me and suddenly I feel useless. There is nothing I can do but stay out of the way, and I hate that.

I manage to see what the creatures actually look like though. They are massive and mostly look to me like rabid wolves, they have black fur and claws the size of my fucking hand. Their eyes are red and glowing, the same as the eyes of the smoky creatures. I fight a shudder as I realise what their razor claws and teeth could do to me. They'd tear me apart easily.

Their teeth aren't at all ordinary, they have very big fangs and lots of them, it reminds me of the inside of a shark's mouth. There seems to be tons of them flying out of the trees, surrounding us all completely. Red barks at me to stay behind him or I'll get an arrow through my fucking head, and it won't be by accident.

I back away, attempting to find a way over to Lance and Gwen. Red rolls his eyes in exasperation at me, but I can still see the sort of strange glee in his lethal silver eyes. It's just like in my dreams. He likes the danger, the chaos.

The forest seems bigger than before and the smell of blood, coppery and horribly sharp, fills my nose. It is anything but silent now. The sound of fighting, shouting and howling assaults my ears. Red stops firing for mere seconds to reach behind him and pull something out from the back of his dark jeans.

He throws it at me, winks, and then starts firing his seemingly endless amount of arrows at the creatures once again without missing a beat. I catch the item. It's a sheath of some kind made of black leather. There is a handle coming out of it, the handle is silver and decorated with blue and silver stones. I pull on the handle to reveal a long dangerous looking dagger.

I stare at the weapon for a few moments. It feels right in my hand and position my hand on instinct to hold it in a way that allows me to handle it better. I stuff the sheath into the waistband of my jeans and begin to make my way over to where Emrys is.

Before I can get even half way there, a wolf-like creature manages to avoid both the Knights and Red's arrows. The creature comes straight for me and on pure instinct I change my stance and ready the dagger. The creature doesn't stop coming, but somehow I'm ready for it. Those red eyes burn into me and I try not to shudder once again.

A few feet in front of me the creature launches itself into the air. I have less than a few seconds before the creature will sink its enormous claws into me. At the last minute I throw myself forward, driving my dagger upwards and into the creature's body.

My dagger drives through its heart and I twist it to ceil the massive wolf's fate, it makes a yowling sound that pierces my ear drums painfully. I yank the dagger out and just about manage to drop to the floor and roll so the creature does not land directly on top of me.

I'm breathing heavily, and my heart is racing insanely fast. Some part of me is scared as fuck. But then there's this other part that is beginning to understand that excitement in Red's eyes. I get up, leaving the wolf and wiping off some of its blood on my jeans. The blood is a dark purple and smells so foul that I almost gag.

I look up and catch sight of Emrys moving towards me fast. I start to run to him so that we'll meet half way. Lance and Gwen are still being protected by the shield. Lance is holding Gwen tightly against him and she seems to be gritting her teeth in a desperate attempt not to scream every time a wolf hits the blue wall of magic.

The moment Emrys reaches me I feel relief so great that I might have fallen over if it hadn't been for Emrys yanking me hard against him and lifting me up off of the ground. His strong arms holding onto me in a death grip. He buries his face in my neck and I wrap my arms around him. My pulse still races like mad.

Over the sound of fighting I can barely hear Emrys as he whispers things against my skin.

"Fuck! Never do that again, never, you hear me, never. I thought…I saw it come towards you and I thought it would lose you all over again. I can't, not again Arthur, never again", his tone is harsh and pained.

I should tell him I'm not Arthur, that would be the sensible thing to do. But right now I'm not thinking, I can't think, not with Emrys so close. I can feel so much love in the bond between us and it's making my heart beat almost impossibly even faster.

I don't say anything. I just let him hold me and let everything else rush over me in waves. Nothing else is important in this moment but Emrys. I thread my fingers into his wind blown dark hair, I let the silky choppily cut strands slide through my fingers lovingly. I caress his hard jaw and my lips brush over the smooth skin.

I can tell that the fighting is winding down around us, and it seems has if we've come out on top. Team Lake quest one, Wolf-sharks zero.

Emrys shivers against me as my lips ghost over his. He groans quietly, his eyes are closed and out foreheads are now pressed together. He wants to kiss me. He _wants_ me, I can feel it right down to my bones, and in this moment it doesn't matter to that I'm not really the one he wants.

And the only coherent thought that comes into my mind is, where the fuck did Red get a bow and arrows from?

Seriously though. Did we stop by a secrety hidey hole of his where he stores arrows and bows? Or was it some sort of magical voodoo thing again. I'm guessing the latter, but hell, anything appears to be possible these days. Emrys' lips ghost over mine once more and I shiver with need. The need to have his mouth on mine for the rest of my life. Because I'm an idiot, obviously.

"You know, if you're going to fuck, then can I suggest using the cave just over there" Red's amused drawl slaps both Emrys and me back into the present. Emrys immediately sets me down on my feet and I push away from him completely.

I swing round to face Red who is moving closer, his bow and arrows have disappeared again and it takes every ounce of my self control not to ask why. I doubt he would appreciate, let alone actually answer, the question.

Out of the corner of my eye I see Emrys move away towards where Lance and Gwen are still standing being protected by the wall of blue magic. I'm guessing he plans to take it down. There are many bodies of wolves littering the forest ground, the smell of the purple blood is awful and I barely manage not to grimace.

For some reason I don't want to meet Red's eyes. There was a casual bite in his tone before. Not exactly like he was angry, because I imagine someone like Red would have perfect control of their emotions. But there was a definite edge that is making me feel uncomfortable. Oh, and of course almost kissing the face off of Emrys even though I know he is only attracted to me because I look like his ex, is embarrassing as hell.

I see my three Knights looking surprisingly unharmed coming towards us, their weapons still drawn, but I also get the feeling that this battle is over. I bloody well hope so. Bloody wolf-sharks. Sholfs? Warks? Definitely better names than 'smokey thing' at least.

They had the same glowing red eyes though, and that is now beginning to worry me. Were they sent by the same people? Sounds likely to me, but I don't know this world, maybe a lot of creatures have eyes that promise death. A slow painful death. Nice. That image is now going to haunt me for the rest of my life. However short that life might end up being by the looks of things.

"Leave off them Assassin, they've got some catching up to do" Gawain wiggles his eyebrows suggestively and I snort out a laugh at the ridiculousness of everything that has just happened and his comment.

Lance and Gwen rush over to me and Gwen practically throws herself at me. She wraps her arms around my body and clings hard, like a sucker fish to a rock. I'm a rock. A reincarnated King rock.

Ha!

Fuck, I'm losing my mind even more than usual. My thoughts have wandered into loon land territory. Excellent. Bring out the straight jacket Doctor you've got a new patient.

Part of me is still expecting to wake up in a hospital of some kind and be told that I've been in a coma, that all this is just something my drug addled brain has concocted.

I pry myself away from Gwen only to be immediately hauled up against Lance, his strong arms holding me so tightly I think he's trying to turn my ribcage to dust. Only a year ago me and Lance were together and happy. Content at the very least. I miss that, despite all the shit and confusion I really do miss the simplicity of my relationship with Lance.

"You insane fucking git, what were you thinking? That…_thing_ could have killed you, _would _have killed you Pen. Bleedin' hell, don't do that crazy shit again, alright" Lance murmurs into my ear, his frustration and fear obvious in his voice and I hug him back tighter.

He buries his face in my neck and suddenly the whole situation feels so familiar it's like we're back at home with nothing else to worry about but finding the chance to sneak off and have time alone together. Lance was the first person I ever had sex with, he was also my first kiss, but that was years before.

Now I take comfort in his easy embrace. But when someone clears their throat I pull away and Lace reluctantly lets me go. I look around and meet Emrys' gaze, he stares right into my blue eyes and for a brief moment a flash of emotion betrays the cold mask he has yet again adopted. The flash of emotion looked suspiciously like jealousy.

But it's packed away so quickly that I question if I even saw it. I shake my head and avert my gaze from his before I am tempted to goad him into admitting anything, especially in front of everyone. Gawain is still grinning like a fool, both Percy and Leon seem a bit more subdued. To be fair they just fought for their lives against a flock of Warks. Oh, yes, I'm going with _Warks._

Flock?

Anyway I realise one person is missing. Someone who would definitely have made a comment about my extended hug with Lance, if only to mess with Emrys. Red. I can't see him anywhere, I frown,

"Where's Red?" I question.

Everyone looks around in confusion and I wonder how the hell Red managed to strut off somewhere without any of us noticing. Dammit you really wouldn't see it coming if Red was intent on killing you. Grouped together with how he handled those arrows and I am starting to really see why everyone is afraid of the mental bastard.

Emrys makes a sound of annoyance and stalks past me without a word. Well, now someone is back to their usual pissy self I suppose it's time to get on with the hike quest. Oh goodie.

Lance and Gwen throw me questioning looks, the Knights simply appear resigned as we all begin to follows Emrys. Lance stays close to me this time and so do the Knights, practically flanking me as my personal nature walk bodyguards. I feel a sudden stab of sympathy for the royal family back home, it must be a pain in the arse to have people follow you around like this all the time.

After a few minutes of tense silence Leon breaks it by saying,

"The Assassin has probably decided he'd rather move through the trees than on the ground, better place to aim from"

"He also knows it bugs the shit out of Merlin that he knows the Assassin is watching him even though he can't actually see him" adds Gawain with another conspiracial wink, I grin back at him and nod a thanks to Leon for attempting to answer my question and ease the tension if only slightly.

Lance leans in close to me, but before he can say anything an arrow comes flying out of somewhere and barely misses hitting Lance through the shoulder, causing him to jerk away from me. It is an obvious warning for Lance to keep his distance and I smile a little bit despite myself.

Two jealous brothers then. Fuck a duck. I am in so much trouble.

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><p><strong>Special shout out-Kaeberlily, Misskymm and mersan123- LOVE YOU PEOPLE! xxx<strong>


	7. Fire lust burns

**_I do not own Merlin at all, in any way. But I wish I did! xxx_**

**Chapter seven:**** Fire lust burns**

We walk for the rest of the day without incident. I catch Gwen and Lance up on what's been happening and they tell me what Vivian has told them about all of this. They don't know much more than me, I didn't really expect them to.

The Knights stay closer than they were before. I start up a few conversation with each of them and they seem happy, or maybe content is the right word, that I am around. Maybe seeing their old King's face is comforting in some way. Whatever it is I'm glad to have met some people who don't hate me for supposedly being the reincarnation of King Arthur.

I'm definitely beginning to think Gawain and Arthur were good friends if the easy way he converses with me is anything to go by. I have found that each of the Knights have very different personalities. Gawain is definitely the joker of the three. Percy is kind and quite thoughtful. Leon seems to be the most dedicated to his role as a Knight and my protector.

On the whole I am grateful for their presence. Not so much for me, but for Gwen and Lance's sake. Although technically Lance should have the ability to defend himself. When all this is over I wonder if he will want to train as a Knight or not. Emrys said it is in his blood. I know Gwen can't think much further ahead than getting Elyan back and honestly I can't either.

Or, I can, I just don't want to. Not yet.

The Knights keep looking at Gwen and Lance in that way. The way that suggests they recognise them. It scares me to think Gwen and Lance might be the reincarnations of Lancelot and Guinevere. I hope to hell they aren't. But its seeming more and more likely that they might be. I can't imagine they haven't noticed.

I'm not going to ask though. I've had enough surprise reveals for one night thank you very much mr. universe. I feel like I'm on 'Deal or no Deal' and there are an endless number of boxes for me to choose from. Except instead of blue or red amounts of money inside, half of them have answers to questions I don't want to ask and the other half could reveal secrets I don't want to think about.

Emrys still takes the lead and doesn't talk to me once. I can't read his mood, he's closed himself off from me so I can't even try to get a glimpse of what he's feeling or thinking through our bond. Just when I was beginning to think the bloody thing was useful it goes and shuts down on me.

Fucking mind bond mechanics.

A few hours after it gets dark we stop in a clearing. I have no fucking clue where the bastard Assassin has ninja'ed off to. Although I do get the strangest gut instinct feeling that he's watching me. It causes me to shiver just thinking about it. Those silver eyes, so intense and dangerously sexy. I try not to think about him too much as I'm worried Emrys will pick up on it and draw far too many conclusions.

Part of me feels I have known Emrys for such a long time and that I know how he will react to things. If I think about it too hard memories threaten to resurface and I honestly think I'll scream if that happens. A bit dramatic I know, but if you can't be dramatic in this situation then when can you bloody be.

Plus I'm not manly enough to pull off the whole stoic 'I don't give a flying fuck' thing I've seen that some men have. Both Emrys and Red pull it off rather well, although in almost completely different ways.

We find a clearing and set up camp quite quickly. For once I'm glad I went on all those camping trips as a child with Lance and his father. Gwen hated it and to be honest I agreed whole heartedly. People are meant to live inside, that's why houses were built. So we could live in them and not have to sleep on the ground.

It just makes sense.

But Lance's father was the only 'dad' figure I've ever really had. So going out camping with him and Lance was something I was willing to do. Even if it is stupid.

Campers. Huh. Insane fuckers the lot of them. I should know, I am one of them.

Emrys gets out this teeny tiny bag that I think he stole from Mary Poppins because it has every fucking thing we need for camping inside it. He still doesn't talk to me even when I help him get the tents set up.

We sort out who will be keeping watch at what time and we are just sitting around the camp fire talking about what we'll be cooking over it when Red comes strolling into camp. He's carrying some sort of bird and a rabbit. This world has bunnies, who knew? Good to know anyway.

I have to fight to keep the grin off my face though. When he catches my eye and winks at me I look away quickly before I can o something fucking ridiculous like blush. It's not that I was worried about him really, I'm already pretty sure he's more dangerous than most things, but still….I'm just sort of happy to see that smirking handsome face again.

Hopefully he can irritate Emrys right out of his emotionless mood at least.

Emrys visibly bristles at the sight of his brother. He immediately stands. Again I wonder how the hell Red managed to get so close without us realising. I imagine the Knights and Emrys would be good at listening for the sound of footsteps or any signs of someone coming our way. Apparently being silent is a skill Red has practiced.

"Where have you been?" Emrys grits out as Red sets the hunted animals down near the fire. Without a word Percy begins to get the bird ready to be cooked. He looks hungry, and for someone of Percy's size I'd imagine being hungry must be almost a permanent thing.

All my attention is on Red and Emrys though as Red replies

"Up a stream without a paddle"

"Seriously" Emrys sighs heavily and pinches the bridge of his nose in exasperation.

"Oh alright then, I'll tell you the truth…it was more of a lake…a lake made of fire" Red drawls as he comes to sit down quite close to me.

"What kind of fire?" Gawain asks in obvious amusement.

Red arches a dark eyebrow, when he answers he is looking straight at Emrys,

"The 'oh fuck it's burning my flesh' kind of fire"

Gawain laughs, Leon smiles slightly and shakes his head. I wonder how used to Red and Emrys' interactions they are. They seem perfectly as ease with the two of them basically sort of fighting passive aggressively.

"Could you stop being such a psycho for five minutes" Emrys snaps, his patience obviously very close to snapping.

"No. An older sibling has to set the example, he needs to be consistent with his behaviour" Red replies, he seems completely unaffected by Emrys' anger which I know is just making things even worse and pissing Emrys off even more.

"You're a psychotic murderer and an arsehole. Yep, that's pretty much been consistent all our lives" Emrys clenches his fists tightly together as he speaks and I can practically see the fight that is bound to happen if they keep going like this for much longer.

"See. And you say I never did anything for you brother" Red leans back lazily. His 'I'm not evil, I'm just drawn that way' black t-shirt rides up slightly and I have to fight back the urge to stare at the bit of tanned muscled stomach that is revealed. The bottom of his perfect abs showing slightly. From the looks of him I'd say he must have a six pack at least.

Before Emrys can reply, or send a bolt of blue fire at his brother's face, Red continues,

"There is a difference between murdering and killing" he turns those silver as lightening eyes on me "Murder is intimate, it's personal" I shiver at the intensity of his gaze as well as his words. Red's eyes flicker back to Emrys,

"Killing is just a natural and logical way of eliminating a problem."

I can see Emrys is about to blow so I do the only thing I can think of to diffuse the situation. I look right at Emrys and ask louder than necessary,

"What exactly are we hoping to find at 'the lake'?" I make air quotations with my fingers.

Emrys seems momentarily thrown off by my question, and as usual Red appears vaguely amused. Surprisingly it is Leon who answers,

"It is not some_thing_ we seek. We wish to speak with the Lady of the Lake" Leon's tone suggests that he wants to add the word 'obviously' to his answer.

We want to speak to the Lady of the Lake. Of course we do, how stupid of me to think otherwise. Maybe after that we'll go into the Enchanted forest and look for the Cheshire cat. Why not? It's not like anything makes sense any-bloody-more.

Red gives me an understanding look that suggests he knows exactly what I'm thinking. He better fucking not actually _know._Once insanely gorgeous magical brother is quite enough thank you.

After that there isn't much to say and we all lapse into silence whilst Percy cooks us up some tea. I tastes pretty good actually and I tell him so. He seems embarrassed by the praise and I wonder if Arthur ever complimented him on the same thing.

Try as I might I can't seem to get to grips with what kind of man Arthur was. All evidence points to him being a bit of an arsehole. But it can't have been that simple. Every time I think to hard about it my mind threatens to send me hurtling back into his memories. I have no desire to experience that again if I can help it. Something tells me I'm going to have to experience it whether I want to or not.

After we've eaten Red disappears _again_ without any of us noticing _again._Bastard. Emrys watched me the entire time I was eating. It made me feel self-conscious and I kept shifting in my seat like a twit.

I am a twit.

I should not let him get to me so much. I know that. Gwen keeps sending me looks all the bloody time. I can tell she desperately wants some private time to talk to me, but it's not very likely that we could just wonder off. Knowing me I'd probably get us both killed by evil red eyed bunnies. The thought is almost funny. Almost.

Lance hasn't looked at me once since we hugged right after being attacked by the Warks. Bloody Warks, I'm still not over that. I can't blame Lance for feeling angry with me, if that really is what he's feeling. It's my fault Elyan was taken, I know that. I wish it was me. But wishing it won't change anything.

The three Knights share a tent. Lance and Gwen share as well. I get my own, I thought about bunking in with Lance and Gwen, because I wanted to talk with them, I hoped we would have semi-privacy at least. But Emrys insisted I have my own. I notice he doesn't even have a tent. He says he will keep watch, that he rarely sleeps.

I almost say something stupid about sleep being incredibly important, especially when one is on a quest. But I stop myself. First time for everything.

Everyone gets off to sleep fairly quickly. The tents are evenly spaced apart, so I can't hear anyone breathing, but I can hear what sounds like Gawain snoring. I smile despite everything. No matter how hard I try I can't force myself to sleep. Every time I close my eyes all I see is Emrys, or Red, or those glowy red eyes.

Eventually it gets so frustrating that I sit up and climb out of my tent. It's not as cold as you'd think outside in the forest, obviously the English weather doesn't quite stretch to here.

I see Emrys sitting by the diminishing fire. Part of me thinks I should just leave him. That would be the safe thing to do. So obviously I go right over to Emrys and sit down beside him. He turns to look at me through thick black lashes and he even smiles when I say,

"I bet bees don't get insomnia either. Lucky sods."

Emrys shifts closer to me and I don't pull away even though I know I should. I can feel the heat coming off of his bog body and immediately my cock stirs to life. Emrys reaches out a hand to trace over my face. I like the feel of his hands on me and I think I even sigh contentedly. He sucks in a breath when he gets to my lips and traces them with his thumb.

I open my mouth and suck his thumb into my mouth. He doesn't pull back so I keep on sucking, swirling my tongue around and even biting every now and again. He groans quietly and our eyes meet. I see heat and desire laid bare in his gaze, the silver and gold of his eyes mixing together even more rapidly.

Emrys pulls his thumb from my mouth, I am disappointed for only a moment before his lips come crashing down over mine. He pushes me back and is almost fully on top of me before I can even register what is happening. His kiss is like fire, a fire that I crave with every bit of breath in my body.

He shoves a hand into my gold curls and yanks on them hard enough that I open my mouth wider, prompting his tongue to slide into my mouth and take possession of it. His hands are all over me and we kiss, hard and fast and painfully beautifully right.

Emrys' every action, every touch, claims me. I can hear the words inside his head, one word more important than the rest, '_mine, mine, MINE'._I wrap my legs around his waist and he kisses me even harder, it hurts and I want it to hurt. I want to remember every part of his kiss.

My hands are touching him in every way I can and it's amazing. His hands are on my skin under my clothes and it burns. It burns so fucking much and I need more. I want more. I can feel his pleasure at getting to touch me the way he wants to inside his head.

'_Arthur, Arthur, Arthur…Pen, oh god, Pen. Mine.'_

I jerk at the sound of my own nickname inside his head. He can feel the tension in me and stops trying to shove his tongue down my throat long enough to meet my gaze, and just like that, it's over.

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><p><em><strong>Thank you so much for the reviews! You're amazing! xxx<strong>_


	8. On the road we travel

I do not own Merlin or any of the characters in this fic apart from the ones I create myself.

* * *

><p><span><strong>On the road we travel<strong>

Lance screws his eyes shut and clenches his fists so tightly that he breaks the skin. Gwen sits up and looks down at him, he tries to shield his emotions from her for a few moments but then realises how pointless that is. Gwen knows him too well for there too be anything he could hide from her.

"I can't do this Gwen" Lance states, his voice breaking on the last word.

Gwen takes Lance's hand and laces their fingers together. He looks up into her kind and beautiful face. Gwen has always been there for Lance, they've been through so much together, even more so lately and he trusts her completely. He would never break like this in front of anyone else.

"I know it's hard sweetie, but Pen…he's going through a lot right now. What's going on outside with him and Emrys…it doesn't mean anything. Not really. Pen would never be stupid enough to fall for someone like that, remember he told us that Merlin was in love with Kinf Arthur. Pen would not settle for second best to anyone, he's always been the strong one" Gwen says, her faith in their friend shining through so brightly.

Lance almost believes her about Pen being clever enough to not fall for Emrys. But then the image of them locked together after they were attacked assaults his mind and he somehow knows that it isn't true. Pen may be clever, he may be the smart one, the strong one, but he also has a weakness for Emrys, for whatever reason.

It might be his connection to King Arthur, Lance really hopes so. He knows they aren't together anymore, that Pen has never once looked at him the way Lance has caught him looking at Emrys….and surprisingly Emrys' brother. The Assassin.

If Lance thinks too much about Mordred he'll start to actually shake from fear. Mordred scares the fuck out of Lance, Gwen too. He's so dangerous, it's obvious to Lance that he cannot be trusted, not by any of them. Even Emrys seems completely unwilling to trust him. They can barely be civil to one another for five minutes.

Pen having a thing for Emrys is one thing, it makes sense if nothing else. But for him to feel anything but outright fear towards Mordred is insane to the extreme. Unless Pen has a death wish none of them know about.

"I don't get what he see's in either of them" Lance says, he knows there is jealousy clear as day in his voice and doesn't try to hide it.

Gwen sighs heavily and meets Lance's hazel eyes with her own larger than life pale blue ones,

"'Them'?" she questions with a quirked pale blond eyebrow to go with it.

Lance rolls his eyes,

"Come on Gwen, don't pretend you haven't seen it too. The way Mor….the way HE looks at my-our Pen. It's obvious there is something going on that Pen hasn't told us"

Gwen tilts her head to the side in though.

"Maybe. But it doesn't matter. No way in hell would Pen _ever _go for Mor-the Assassin...or Emrys…even if they are both gorgeous"

Lance's mouth opens in shock and Gwen laughs quietly,

"Oh, come on Lance, sweet heart, they are completely out of this world gorgeous"

"Out of our world maybe" Lance grumbles, he pulls his hand away from Gwen.

She is right though. Unfortunately. Emrys is gorgeous and the Assassin is sexy as all hell. It's fucking annoying how attractive they actually are. The Assassin definitely knows it too. His confidence and arrogance practically rolls of him in waves.

Emrys seems a lot more reserved though. Most of the time you'd think he felt nothing at all. But Lance saw how he acted during that attack. He saw Emrys' face when that wolf thing came at Pen. He looked like his whole world was about to be destroyed.

Lance supposes he can't hate Emrys that much. Pen has said more than once that Emrys only see's Arthur when he looks at him. Lance is so sure though. How could anyone not think of Pen as…well, Pen. He's so fucking weird for a start, confusing him with anyone else would be near impossible. Al Pen would need to do is open his mouth and anyone who has ever met Pen before would immediately know it was him.

"It hurts Gwen. It fucking hurts to see him have any sort of feelings for Emrys. I know we're over…I _know _that but-"

"You don't want it to be over" Gwen supplies with a sad nod.

Lance shakes his head in denial,

"No, I don't want to be with Pen anymore, he was right to break things off. We didn't work. We would have never been happy-"

"You were happy Lance. Don't look at me like that, you were. You loved him more than anything. You still love him. You still _want _him. I know that you do so don't even bother to deny it" Gwen cuts in again, her eyes hard and serious.

Lance closes his eyes tight, he clenches his jaw painfully before whispering,

"I don't think I'll ever _stop _wanting him. Loving him."

Gwen bites her lip and turns away from Lance. She knew he would say something like that. She knows how much he misses being with Pen. She knows all of that. But there was a little part of her that hoped, still hopes, that Lance will realise how much she loves _him._

Gwen has always been a little jealous of Pen, for a lot of things. Because everyone liked him, even though he was the weird one. He never saw it, but Gwen did, people looked up to Pen, they always have, without him even trying.

Vivian seemed to love Pen more, she definitely gave him more attention than she ever gave Gwen. Gwen wonders now if that was because Pen is meant to be the reincarnation of King Arthur. Evn Elyan seems to feel more connected to Pen.

Gwen was jealous of how attractive Pen is, he doesn't realise it either, which makes it even more frustrating.

Gwen would work so hard to be noticed, to make herself look as beautiful as possible and still all eyes would be on Pen. His beauty is strange in some ways. It isn't the classical good looks of Lance. But there is something undeniably enticing about him, like you could stare at him forever and never get bored.

With his golden blond hair and dark blue sea eyes, that handsomely beautiful face and his compact tightly muscled body, Pen put every other teenage boy out of the running in every girl eyes. Girls at school fell in love with him on the spot, and Gwen knows that a lot of boys did too although they weren't as obvious about it.

But it isn't just how he looks. There is something so uniquely Pen that never fails to draw people in. Gwen herself included. She's been trying to figure it out for years. Maybe now she finally has her answer. He always seemed majestic, when he entered a room everyone noticed. It isn't too much of stretch for Gwen to think of Pen as Prince. He has that air of authority around him, always has.

He is definitely the leader of the three of them. Gwen and Lance would follow him anywhere.

Of course as she got older and realised she was falling hard for Lance Gwen has a whole new reason to be jealous of Pen. Because Lance was so obviously in love with him. Lance confided that truth to Gwen long before him and Pen ever got together.

Gwen loves Pen, and she will always be loyal to him, but just once she would like to be the one that is special. The one everybody notices. The one_ Lance _notices. She wants him to love her the way he loves Pen. But that is never going to happen, and Gwen feels that fact sink hard inside her stomach.

Gwen has to find a way to get Lance to see her the way he see's Pen. Maybe if Pen did fall for someone else it would actually kick start Lance finally getting over him.

Maybe.

Or maybe both Lance and Gwen will always be miserable together like this until the day they die. That seems like the more likely outcome.

* * *

><p>The next morning I can't even look at Emrys without remembering how close we were to doing something we could never take back last night. I went to my tent in silence when Emrys moved off of me. Emrys refuses to look at me either, which I am slightly offended by. Just because I'm trying to ignore his existence doesn't mean he should get to ignore mine.<p>

It's rude.

You know when you get drunk and kiss the person you fancy and then the next time you see them they aren't looking at you because they are busy talking to the boyfriend/girlfriend that you may or may not have known about when you kissed them. Yeah, that's what this is. This is the 'I just couldn't help myself but now I regret it' thing. I've had a couple of these experiences before, but to be fair I've never been on a quest at the same time.

It's awkward as fuck, and I don't like it.

Even worse Lance and Gwen are acting weird too. What is this, treat Pen like the creepy man on the midnight bus day.

We pack up quite quickly and I keep waiting for Red to come waltzing in full on swagger style. But he doesn't, and that just makes me feel even more on edge. He's probably doing it on purpose to annoy either me or Emrys, or both. Most likely both. Frustrating Prat.

At least the Knights aren't being silly. They talk to me as we once again begin our trek through the forest. I hope this Lady of the Lake person is worth all this walking. As I have mentioned before I am not a fan of walking in forests, or the outside in general.

I would make a crap King, I don't even like riding on horses.

"Why not? Do you dislike horses" Leon asks.

It's then that I realise I said that last part out loud. I'd make a crap spy too. Pen Bond 00div, licence to drive…and that's about it.

Although I did kill a Wark so I suppose that's something. I'll remember to put that on my MI6 application.

"I don't 'dislike' them…I just don't trust 'em" They all seem to be watching me as we walk, well everyone except Senior Awkward up front.

"Why don't you trust them? Bad experience?" Gawain asks me, he seems genuinely interested so I decide to answer completely honestly.

"Not really. I just think they know more than they are letting on"

"Know more?" I can tell Lance and Gwen are trying to stifle their laughter, they remember what happened when we went out on horses before.

_'"Do you know anything about riding a horse boy?" The stable owner asked._

_"Well, I know how to get on one. And I know how to fall off one onto my arse too" I answered._

"They talk to me. A lot. And they know I don't understand what they are saying" I reply with a shrug. Lance and Gwen burst out laughing then, so do the Knights, even Leon sniggers quietly. Ha, I knew there was a sense of humour behind that Noble Knight act. Win.

Not that I hate horses exactly, I just find them suspicious. They're definitely smarter than they let on at any rate. I catch Lance's eye and wink, he smiles sadly back at me.

About an hour later I walk up to Emrys, determined to get rid of some awkwardness. He's striding fast, but I manage to keep up with him somehow. I'm just that good.

"Emrys" he turns to look at me finally and I meet those strange gold swirling eyes, "I…I….

"I apologise for my actions last night…Pen. I didn't mean to make you feel uncomfortable. " Emrys suddenly says. Now _he _looks extremely uncomfortable. Good, so we're even.

"But I think it would be in everyone's best interest if we do not speak of it again. I don't want you getting your feelings confused and then allow them to get in the way of your decision making" Emrys continues, he turns away though so I can't look into his eyes.

How dare he accuse me of letting my feelings get in the way of my decision making! I am a model quest companion! Look at all this complain free walking I've been doing!

Emrys basically just called me over emotional. That bastard! That insanely attractive bastard!

"Whatever you say Potter" I reply calmly, trying to sound as unemotional as possible. I'm a bloke, it shouldn't be that difficult. Wow, that sounded suspiciously like Gwen inside my head just then. Scary place to be with the Bee analogies and weird memories that aren't even my memories, it's all very Inception-y, I wonder if….shut up brain, shut up.

"Potter?" Emrys questions looking confused.

I have to stop myself from gaping at him,

"As in _Harry Potter"_

"Who is that?" he asks.

"You can't be serious….he's only the _other_ most famous Wizard in the world"

"I am not a Wizard, I am a Sorcerer"

I make a flipping gesture with my hand ,"Potato, eggplant, it's all the same"

There is a pause where Emrys is giving me a look that clearly says he thinks I'm insane. That's fine, I can deal with that. Not like it's the first time someone has looked at me like that in my life. Although none of them were ever as handsome as Emrys.

"Did you miss me blue?" his voice is rough and low, but somehow it feels like silk is caressing my insides at the sound of his voice. I especially now feel the weight of his dagger against my back. Sounds like a bit a euphemism. It wasn't. Dammit now I'm half hard because of an accidental euphemism. Just thinking about Red, remembering how he touched me causes a full body shiver.

I turn around to see Red only a few feet behind me. He comes to walk on my left. I feel like I'm being flanked by two pillars of complicated gorgeousness. Or like I have an Angel and a Devil for each shoulder.

"Where have you been?" I ask trying to shield that weird feeling inside of me that is very happy to see him. Stupid feelings. Maybe Emrys is right. No, I refuse to accept that, he didn't know who Harry Potter was, that makes everything he thinks questionable.

Red meets my eyes and I shiver again at the predatory look in his. The silver iris practically glows with the promise of both danger and pleasure. He sends his trademark smirk my way.

"Around" he answers.

"Where exactly have you been all this time?" I ask, not willing to let it go just yet.

"Were you not listening? I just said, around…"

"Around….."

"Around and about"

"You are so bloody cryptic…and annoying"

He just continues to smirk at me, and I can't stop the stupid smile that threatens to spread over my face. Stupid feelings. Stupid face. Emrys rolls his eyes and makes no comment. He just speeds up and leaves us behind, although I can tell he'd rather not leave me with his brother.

Suddenly Red pulls me fully against him. The Knights are spread out, not looking our way at the moment and Gwen and Lance seem to be in deep conversation. Red holds me tight, hard enough to hurt a little. He looks down into my eyes, his lips brush over my jaw, his black stubble scratches my skin.

I feel both our cocks come to life and the contact causes a soft moan to escape from my mouth. Fucking feelings. One of his big hands reaches under my shirt and I moan again as his hand brushes over the skin on my back. He takes hold of the dagger, I think he's going to pull it out of my waistband but he doesn't.

Red lets it go and then splays his hand flush on my back. I can feel him hard as steel against me, and I know I'm probably already leaking pre-come, which should probably be embarrassing as all he's done is touch me. But I can't think of anything but how deliriously amazing it feels to have Red's hands on me.

Red meets my gaze and his smirk turns into more of a sensual self satisfied smile, I can see the lust and desire in his silver eyes. He leans into kiss me and I put up no fight to stop him even though we are bound to be caught.

But then I hear Emrys cough, loudly, both on the outside and inside my head. I don't know how that works, but it does. I can feel Emrys' rage, and his jealousy. Only for a moment though before he shields it all from me. I hate how he can do that. _I _need to learn how to do that. See how _he_ likes it.

Anyway….

"What the hell are you doing?" I snap and push Red away from me, which is like pushing a stone wall. He lets go almost reluctantly, but I can't see anything but amusement in his eyes now.

There is a long pause before Red's smirk comes out to play, he says,

"Explain to me this activity."

"What?"

"Pardon?"

""Stop it!" I say sternly.

"Desist!"

"Go away."

"Shoo."

"This is not funny." I practically shout.

"This is far from amusing."

"I hate you"

"Liar"

Oh, he is so frustrating. I just want to punch him in the face. I almost bloody well do but then Emrys coughs again and snaps,

"Are you both quite finished wasting time?"

It's on the tip of my tongue to say no and lunge at Red.

Just to punch him.

I promise.

I rolls my eyes and glare at Red. He looks away from me, but I can still see the smirk on his face.

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><p><em><strong>Thank you so much to everyone who reviewed! xxx<strong>_


	9. A mistake in the making

I do not own Merlin or any of the characters in this fic apart from the ones I create myself.

**Chapter nine-A mistake in the making**

We begin walking again in silence. I notice Red is wearing a different t-shirt. It's still black, but in red lettering it reads _"I'm one of those bad things that happen to good people"._I stifle laughter at the words, because of irony if nothing else.

As we walk I try very hard not to meet Red or Emrys' gaze for a good hour. But then Red breaks the silence by saying,

"I forgot to say Pen, nice work with my dagger yesterday"

I blink up at him in surprise and reply,

"Oh, right, yeah. I killed a Wark, never thought I'd be able to say something like that in my life"

Red snorts out a laugh and Emrys looks at me in confusion,

"Wark?" he asks

I shrug,

"Yes. You know the big wolf things with shark teeth. Wark, as in shark and wolf put together"

Emrys gives me another 'you're mad' look, but his mouth turns up into a small smile. Red is still smirking with humour evident in his eyes.

"The inside of your head is just one big clusterfuck isn't it?" he drawls.

"Trust me, you don't want to know" I murmur. He really doesn't, there's nothing good or noteworthy up inside there.

"It isn't that bad Pen" Emrys says to me, with what I think is supposed to be a reassuring tone.

Red's eyes flash with something very much like annoyance,

"I like the inside of his head, it's chaotic"

Oh yeah, that.

Emrys turns to Red in anger and snaps,

"Stay out of his head Mordred"

Wait, Red is inside my head too…since when? Ha, like it matters.

Son of a biscuit tin on a shelf in bloody hell, anyone who isn't me needs to get out of my sodding head!

I do my best to get that across to both of them by mentally shouting it. Both brothers answer the same way, with a resounding and final "No".

Bloody wizards!

"I'm _not _a wizard" Emrys says out loud.

Damn it. Does this mean Red has been able to see everything I've been thinking about him? Red smirks at me then, but mercifully doesn't say yes out loud, but it's pretty obvious that is the answer. I really need to learn how to block them from my mind, maybe the Lady of the Lake can help with that too.

We lapse back into silence then.

Hours later when the sun begins to set we set up camp again. This is the last night before we reach the lake apparently. Things are still awkward between Emrys and me. I wish there was something I could do, but he seems unwilling to even try and talk about things.

Obviously last night should not have happened, he isn't wrong about that. I did let my emotions get the better of me, and so did Emrys. I have no delusions about his feelings for me, I know when he looks at me all he see's is Arthur, the King of Camelot and his former lover.

I'm ok with that….oh, alright then, no, I'm not ok with that, but I can deal with it. We could be friends if he would just allow himself to feel something for me that is real, to see me as _me_and not just as Arthur.

I can't force him though, and I won't.

Lance and Gwen are still acting weirdly towards me, and it's honestly starting to piss me off. I know a lot has happened in the last few days, but that's no reason to shut me out like this.

We're all sitting around the fire when suddenly Red sits forward and growls in frustration,

"I'm getting bored" Red exclaims, "and I don't do bored, that's when random people get hurt…Lance, come over here"

Lance looks surprised and a little terrified to have been addressed by Red directly,

"Are you going to hurt me?" he asks.

"No" Red replies with a smirk.

"Is that a lie?"

"Yes" Red winks at Lance, I roll my eyes and laugh under my breath. Lance still seems afraid that Red might just randomly kill him. And you know what, I'd really like to say that he wouldn't, but I won't, because I don't actually know that for sure at all.

When Lance goes into his tent I seize my chance to talk to him alone. I can feel Red and Emrys' eyes on me as I go after Lance, but right now it's more important that I know what's going on with one of my best friend's.

The tent is just about big enough for both of us. He jerks in surprise when he see's me following him into the tent but he doesn't say anything.

"What's going on Lance?" I ask when we're both inside the tent and facing each other. For a moment I think Lance isn't going to answer me, I can barely see him inside the darkness of the tent. But then suddenly Lance practically throws himself towards me and his lips press hard against mine.

Again the familiarity of the kiss hits me. I missed that, the feeling of truly knowing the person I'm with inside and out. I've known Lance my whole life, he's one of the few people I trust. When we got together it was…comfortable, and I would be lying if I said I hadn't been content for a very long time...but... this is wrong…isn't it?

I mean our main problem was that he thought I wasn't part of the world we were in, that I was always waiting for something to happen. Well, now it has, and now I know that I'm not part of that world, I'm part of this one. At least I think I am, jury's still out on that until I meet the Lady of the Lake.

So, if that's no longer a problem between us, then maybe this isn't so wrong. I do love Lance…and it's not like anything is ever going to go anywhere with Emrys. I refuse to even think of Red as an option. Falling for Red would be the biggest mistake of my life, I might as well just stab myself in the heart right now if I go down that road.

Lance pushes me onto my back and covers my body with his. He kisses me desperately, our tongues sliding together messily, Lance's hands are all over my body. He touches me exactly the way I like to be touched because he knows me. He knows what I like. And I know what he likes.

But, despite feeling completely turned on, and make no mistake I'm hard as a steel pipe right now, something isn't quite right. It's too familiar. Not quite like kissing my brother, but close enough. I don't feel overwhelmed by it. Kissing Lance is so…ordinary when compared to kissing Emrys. I'm not even going to mention Red.

A burst of painful anger explodes inside my mind and that brings me completely back to my dwindling senses. I try to push Lance off me, he's so busy kissing me that he doesn't notice I am no longer responding with any enthusiasm.

That is until he all but screams and clutches his head. He springs away from me as if he's being burnt alive all over just by touching me. I go to try and touch him, my mind instantly on full danger alert. Lance flinches away from me and manages to get out the words,

"No-don't…..stop Pen…..go, he wants you to go, please"

"Who?" I demand, anger over my friend's pain slamming into me.

Lance is still clutching his head as he replies shakily,

"I'll be fine if…if you just go Pen….he'll hurt you too otherwise"

My fists clench, but I do as Lance says and climb out of the tent. I make to go back towards everyone else and get help for Lance when I'm grabbed from behind in a grip so strong that it's almost bone crushing.

I am yanked into the shadows. I feel him in my mind then. I recognise the feelings of overwhelming desire and excitement mixed with undeniable danger.

Red. Bastard. Sexy, arrogant, funny, gorgeous, fucking annoying, bastard!

Well that description wasn't at all contradictory now was it.

He moves through the tree's with a finesse I could never obtain in a million years, and my weight seems to not bother his sense of rhythm or strength even a little bit. I remember dreaming about the way Red moves. It is so predatory, yet beautifully complex. I can't imagine anyone moves quite like Red.

I struggle the whole way, but there is no way I can physically fight out of his hold unless I chew my own arm off.

I'm not chewing off my arm. I don't have the pain endurance for that kind of thing. If I was that one hundred and something-something hours bloke who got his hand caught in a bolder, then I'd so have let myself die and become lizard food. The only way my arm is getting chewed off is if a zombie does it.

Please don't let there be zombies in Nevria. Mixture of Narnia and Neverland. Not my best I'll admit, but then I am being dragged through a magical forest by an Assassin who could probably kill me with a single thought.

Eventually I'm being slammed up against a really big tree. Red's face comes into view, his eyes are practically glowing brighter than the bloody full moon. That's when I find my voice,

"What the hell Red?"

Red snarls, the sound coming from a deep place within him. I shiver at the sound, I'd like to say out of fear, but that would be a lie. He is pressed up against me, his handsome face only inches from mine. Red is pissed off and hard, I don't know which to be more aware or worried about.

"My brother is one thing Blue, but I will not allow _that_to continue" he whispers bitingly against my lips before once again claiming my mouth like he owns the bloody thing. He probably thinks he does.

_"I do"_Red's words feel like a caress inside my mind, and they hold an edge of truth that I just can't shake.

Red kisses me aggressively and holds notihng back, so nether do I. Be bite and we ravish each others mouths. Our tongues tasting each other eagerly, with so much possession thrown in that I'd fall to my knees if Red wasn't holding me up in his powerful grip.

One of Red's hands slips into my hair, his fingers curl around the strands and he yanks on it so that my neck is exposed. Red immediately tears his lips from mine and nips at my throat almost teasingly before biting down hard. So fucking hard that I yell out his name and squirm against his big body.

Red rolls his hips to create friction between us, I practically scream at the intensity of it. He rolls his hips again and again and again, not stopping for even a moment. Red licks at the blood coming from he bite he inflicted on my neck, it stings, half pain, half pleasure, and I love it all the more for having both.

His tongue swipes all the way back up to my mouth and then he nips at my lips, the rolling of his hips still persistent and mind blowingly perfect. I can feel him in every way it is possible to feel someone, even more so now because I can feel Red inside my mind, I can feel his pleasure as well as my own and it's fucking amazing.

I want to come so badly, but there is a warning at the edges of Red's mind. He doesn't want me to come yet, and he seems pissed off enough as it is. So I try my best to hold off the orgasm that is desperate to rip free.

This is everything I didn't feel with Lance, everything I wanted and more.

Red meets my eyes, his still glowing liquid silver, those golden flecks burning into me with desire and a passion so strong that it's almost painful.

"Blue, I should have fucked you that night, when I came to your room. I should have fucked you so fast and so hard that everything else in your world ceased to matter. Until all you could feel was me inside of you, just me. You're nothing like him, if my brother can't see that then he is even more of a fool than I thought"

I try to concentrate on Red's words, but the pleasure/pain mixture is making my head spin. I have to suppress a scream when he reaches under my t-shirt and tweaks one of my fully hard nipples. Red continues, his voice low and gravelly, and so sexy that my cock jerks,

"I'm going to make you mine Blue"

Look, I'm not stupid. I know I should not be letting Red do this. In fact of everyone in this world, Red is the worst person for me to get attached to in any way. But right now I want this. Maybe I won't tomorrow. Maybe I'll regret it even a few hours from now.

But it's hard to think about later when someone as purely rough and dominant as Red is promising dirty things, with every intention of following through.

Red practically rips my trousers off, but with only the light of the moon to guide me, all I can really make out is Red's ruggedly handsome face. Those lightening silver eyes flashing with a desire so potent that I can feel it charging the air between us.

He handles me roughly and without apology. Something that would have bothered me if it had been anyone else. I have no idea why Red is the exception, and I really don't want to read into it.

Especially as I'm pretty bloody sure the warrior Assassin is about to fuck me against a tree. In a magical forest. Where there a Warks. And Emrys. And possibly zombies, I really should ask about that.

Red slams me back into reality by undoing his own perfectly fit jeans to reveal a cock so fucking big my arse twitches in anticipation. I've never cared much about size before, but fucking hell, that thing might just kill me. And I want it, so very badly.

My eyes flicker up to meet Red's when I realise I've been staring like an idiot. Worse, like a virgin idiot. Of course, Red has that sexy smirk lighting up his face, his gaze smoulders, like, actually smoulders. I've read about it, but I didn't really thing a smouldering look actually existed. I've been wrong about a lot of things obviously.

"Fuck me, now, God, please" the words come flying out of my mouth before I can even think about it. I find myself meaning them though, which is probably the scariest part of all this.

Red's liquid silver eyes turn from a flickering flame to a full on forest fire. Not my best analogy given the setting, but, hey, I'm about to be fucked by a cock that belongs on a horse, not a man.

Red slides his fingers into my messy blond hair and grips tight, fisting it almost painfully as he yanks me forward, our lips crash together harshly.

Then it's all stabbing tongues and naughty bites. He ravishes my mouth and lips in a way I didn't think existed outside of novels and hard core porn. Red kisses me into a pleasure coma, it's so deliciously erotic that I swear I'm about to come without even being touched, which would be a first.

Red lifts me up suddenly so that my legs are wrapped around his trip waist. Finally we're at eye level. My hands grip onto his broad and muscular shoulders for support, and I can't help but take a moment to appreciate the hardness of his strong frame. He really is a warrior, or he must have been at some point. I'm beginning to think that there is no part of this man that isn't hard as a fucking rock.

Not altogether a bad thing.

My Assassin pulls back from my mouth, leaving behind the burn on my smooth skin from his dark day old stubble. I'm panting like I've just run a fucking marathon, and Red holds me close like he'll never let go of me again, and in that moment I never want him to.

Red grins at me, and this time it isn't the arrogant snarky expression of someone who knows he has complete control over me, which he kind of does as long as he keeps putting that expert tongue to use. But no, this time his expression is more genuinely aroused and full of silent longing.

With that, comes his much more gravelly voice,

"You're special baby. My blue eyed prince. He doesn't deserve you"

I'm not sure who 'him' is, and I'm not in any position to ask either.

Red lets his forehead press against mine and I remove one hand from his shoulder to slide up and caress his stubbled face. That strong manly jaw fits perfectly against my hand. I'm still breathing heavily as I feel the massive wet head of Red's erection pressing into my hole.

I've never gone without preparation before, and I can understand why because it stings like all hell as Red pushes at the ring of muscle. Red lifts one hand to my mouth and he taps a finger to my lips. I take in the finger without any hesitation and lave it with my spit. I swirl my tongue seductively, with a promise attached if he ever lets me work on that cock of his with my mouth.

Red growls low in his throat and leans forward to bite down really hard on my shoulder in warning. I can't stop the cry that escapes me and Red whispers roughly into my ear,

"Don't fucking tease Blue, or I'll just shove inside of your tight hole. I'd make you like the pain, baby. I'm only doing this because you think you need it, not because I want to. Remember that"

I shiver more than once at his words as a shock of desire crashes through my body. Then it's no longer his cock pushing into me, it's the spit covered finger, which is still pretty damn thick anyway.

The pain is awful at first, but then Red's other hands wraps around my erection and he starts rubbing me fast and hard. Every few seconds when I think I'm about to come, Red squeezes the base of my cock, keeping me in check.

Red works his finger into my hole and immediately finds my prostate, he brushes over it and my whole body jerks. I moan as after shocks zing through me. Red starts to ease another thick finger into me, and I think I'm going to die when he uses both of those fingers to press against my prostate whilst still working his hand on my cock.

After a few more minutes Red finally pulls his fingers out of me and his cock head returns to my hole. This time the push is a little easier, but his girth is still like trying to take in a thick steel pipe. My arse contracts as it tries to accommodate the sheer size of him.

Despite his earlier words, Red is very patient with me. When his cock finally does get past that first ring of muscle Red suddenly drives himself up into me to the hilt. He is fully penetrating me and I can't fucking breath. It's so much, I feel as if his cock is owning me completely.

That's when Red's lips come back down over mine again and he continues to kiss the life out of me. His tongue fucks my mouth as my arse gets used to his cock being fully inside of me. It takes while but eventually I manage to get out the words,

"Please, Red, move"

Red starts slowly, torturingly so, as if trying to prove just how hard it was for him not to fuck me before. Still he manages to hit my sweet spot with every thrust and I roll my hips, grinding down on his massive length with heady abandon.

"Take it baby, fuck, feel every fucking thing. You're mine, Blue, every part of you, fucking mine" Red growls the words against my mouth, and in that moment they couldn't be more true.

Red's movements get faster and much rougher, but the rhythm is still perfectly steady. I get the feeling Red has had a hell of a lot of experience with this. I don't think about that too much as it does a funny thing to my head and my heart. I don't like the idea of Red fucking someone else, which is completely irrational. I've never been jealous before, not really, and I do not want to start now. Not with Red.

He fucks me hard, just as he promised. His cock continues to hit my sweet spot with practically every thrust and I try my best to meet him thrust for thrust. Moans, groans and whimpers escape my mouth, even when Red is tongue fucking it with a rhythm that matches what his cock is doing to my burning hole.

The sounds coming from Red make it almost impossible not to come. He grunts and growls my name, whispering dirty things into my ear as he fucks me with more passion than should be allowed. He's not touching my cock anymore but it doesn't matter, I'm ready to come at any moment. But there's still that unspoken warning inside my mind telling me not to come until Red tells me I can.

Our connection has become heightened and I can feel his pleasure as well as mine. It makes everything he does more intense, and somehow more intimate. Every touch feels like it sends bolt of lightening through me, I can barely stand it.

I think I've gone half mad with the pain and absolute pleasure of it all, when finally Red whispers four words into my head, and it feels ridiculously more intimate than saying it out loud,

_"Come for me Blue"_

On complete indistinct, as my mind is much too far gone by now to be coherent, I come. And I come fucking harder than I ever have before. Red's movements become faster and less controlled as he fucks my hole, then suddenly his teeth clamp down on neck and the whole world goes white. I barely conscious as my orgasm rocks through me wave after delicious wave.

Red's reason for biting me is clear. It's a claim, pure and simple. He's saying without words, that in this moment, I am _his_, and that my orgasm belongs to him completely.

_"All yours Red. My Assassin"_

I feel Red come almost explosively inside of me at the words I projected into his head through our bond right before I actually do pass out.

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><p><strong><em>Please review, i'll love you for it! And my love lasts forever. Or at least a few weeks. xxx<em>**


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